Hearing from you all, makes my ride so much more comfortable, knowing that you are there, and that I am here for you as well.
Yesterday was my "Self Care" Day. I started by looking back on my path this year on where I've been, how far I've traveled already.
The first of the year found me with high blood pressure, dim and poor eyesight and heavier on the scale than I am now.
So I took stock.
Since February, I have had 2 eye surgeries which corrected my vision to 20/20 without cataracts!
I can see without spectacles now!
This has been "more than just the eyesight gain". Indeed, my "Sight" has improved in a lot of ways too.
I am seeing myself and others thru different eyes in other ways as well.
I've worked on my weight and lost about 23 pounds! Evidently, I was carrying more baggage than I needed :)
I went off the pill and am operating on my own steam and trying to regulate my body back to ME.
I am celebrating being me and finding out who I am now without it. I have been crying off and on this month, due to hormones and emotional pain, but I am that person.
My blood pressure this morning was 89/64! I am less pressurized. I am dealing with stress better.
I had a tooth give me problems in August, so since then I had a root canal, and had the tooth patched. Hopefully it will hang in there with me for the duration. I want to keep it. If I loose it eventually, I will cross that "bridge" if necessary. Teeth are (in Louise Hay's opinion) a symbol of Decisions.
Root canals are, in their base form, a "core change in root belief". Indeed, my life has had some ups and downs that I have pondered. I also, spent time and money on myself getting a new fabulous doctor dentist, and have had my teeth super duper cleaned, and had two fillings done. I am now done with my dental work and can just keep up my quarter annual cleanings. I am being more decisive.
I am turning into a Crone.
An older wise sage of a woman.
And it's ok.
Oh, sure, I'd like to not have grey hair (so I don't :).
I'd love for my hair to grow like it did when I was pregnant. (but I'll not make that trade :)
I'd like to have less wrinkles (but they are from smiling and laughing so that's awesome).
I wished I had the body I want (but who does?)
I'd like to cry less (and I think the hormones have a lot to do with this...so I'm just letting it flow when it comes.)
I'm digging up fears and childhood memories in a special blog, and while it is painful, it is healing too. I am loving my inner child and comforting her by telling her story. (she is the sweetest, funny little thing).
I am looking in the mirror daily and saying: "I love you. I will protect and take care of you." (Wizards throughout the ages have often gazed into pools or ponds conjuring in this way :)
So I will just try to accept the ME that I am,
and know that she IS wonderful, and try to take care of her.
I have spent my life caring for others.
I put myself... on a shelf.
But it's my turn now.
Yesterday, I went happily to my dentist and she finished my last filling, I gave myself a mani/pedi, enjoyed a HOT bath, a delicious dinner, some wine with great relish. I took care of tasks that made me feel and operate better. I wore something attractive to work. I walked straighter and taller and felt good in my skin. I go to bed early if I want. I read. I walked my doggy in the sunshine. I praised myself for doing all that I do.
I finished 3 banners for the Merry Mischief music stand (one for Erie Canal/country music/general gigs and one that is a red tartan which will work as Pirates/Scottish/Christmas and a red, white and blue one which will work for our Civil War/Memorial day gigs.) It felt pretty damn good to make 3 functional pieces with our name emblazoned on them, from an idea, to a finished product.
To Create.
And that is my Quest for this day.
To Create.
It is a day of Creation.
"This is the day the Gods have made. Let us rejoice and give praise in it".
We can be a God or Goddess of Creation.
Of our own creation.
Today will be filled with music, friends, stories, and I will start a project just for the sake of art and my enjoyment in creating it.
I am also letting you know that I am hosting a "Creativity Circle" at the Jordan Library, Mechanic St. Jordan on this coming Sunday afternoon from 2-5pm.
I have created an "Opportunity" for others to be creative.
A place and a time for creation, friendship and focus on our talents.
If you would like to come, bring your project (sewing/scrapbooking/journaling/photo albums/Holiday cards or gifts, etc) and a snack to share. There are tables there that you can set up for your own space to monopolize, spread out on, engulf with your creativity and inspiration! There will be a CD player and music on and a time to chat. Gossip. Dish. Support. Encourage. Brainstorm. Inspire.
A time to BE.
What are you creating in your world today?
4 comments:
I shall come in and fill in later but I wanted to say (because I didn't want to jump in at Storybook but forgot afterward) that sage has estrogenal qualities. When drank as a tea it can help regulate the female system- including drying up breast milk and regulating periods. It, and mugwort, are both amazing for crones time. Red raspberry tea is also wonderful for female health.
I'm working on a few woman's blend teas, inspired by your story but though I would share that sage tea might truly be of service to you during this change. :)
You have had quite a stellar year! Me too--though in different ways. I chose to find a new chiropractor, a new massage therapist and go back to the pool exercise program. Together that all has made a huge difference in my knees and other joints. (There is a pun there but Ill skip it this time.) I got a book contract and rejoined Rochester Writers.
Today I am working on chapter 7: Encounters with the Elementals. It wasn't flowing well, until I realized there were gaps in my encounters. I bought an interesting book by an American journalist in the Middle East about the Djinn and fire spirits on Amazon. It wasn't on Kindle so I have to wait for it to arrive. I think that will do the trick.
I'm going to do a newsletter article based on Frank Kinslow's The Secret of Instant Healing for WebNotes. I gave a talk on it at the Web Annual Dinner Sunday--I recommend it. Worked miracles on my cat!
Beyond that, I choose to be in love with life, which is a tremendously creative act. Easy on a warm sunny day in November. Blessings!
Today I created a finished yard for winter, a huge haul of herbs that are now bundles, bowed, tied and tucked.
I also created tighter bonds of friendship. I talked with friends, I extended invitations, I listened.
One of those friends said she is a failure at life, I asked her how she measures success. We compared notes. Hers had money, school, career, home, recognition.
Mine was so much simpler. I measure my success by who loves me and how they love me. So many wonderful people love me in very supportive and uplifting ways. I measure my success when I look at my son and see a well adjusted young man who is healthy, intelligent, witty, who knows his mind and has conviction. I measure success in that I laugh so much more than I cry. That when morning comes I look forward to the day and do not hide from it. That is a very successful life to me. All else is gravy.
She looked at her life according to my list, and felt better. It was lovely.
I also created an interesting line. Mark jokingly told me I wasn't working when I was tying the herbs because I was having fun. I realized I wasn't having fun. I was just enjoying it- the scents, the feel, the creativity of it, remembering how I planted and nurtured these plants when we moved in. I absolutely enjoy things with love and peace that aren't necessarily what I think of as fun. I hadn't realized that before.
I put into motion plans for something I've wanted for awhile. Have a moment and a cup of tea?
Thanksgiving was always the favorite holiday in my house growing up. My mom would get up at 5am to start cooking so when I woke to watch the Macy's parade the house smelled amazing and was always so warm and cozy. I would help stuff the celery anticipating my mother's dressing, which was always my favorite part. Daddy would come home from hunting to mash the potatoes and share his hunting stories (and sometimes his kill). Thanksgiving is also (often) my mother's birthday. People would bring her carnations, her favorite flower, and they would grace the counter next to the little veggie tray I put together. The family gathered (even after we all grew up and left, we came home for Thanksgiving) and we would say what we were thankful for. Truly an amazing holiday.
2 1/2 years ago my family stopped talking to me. It was out of the blue and random and they still won't tell me why, or even take my calls. While it started around Easter, it came to something of a head at Thanksgiving with my sister spearheading the campaign. It's a really, REALLY hard holiday for me- as you might imagine. I've tried to make the best of it the past couple years. I host and cook but it's not the same. It will never be.
So this year I decided to stop trying to make it be. We're going to New York City to see the Macy's parade in person. We're visiting friends. Taking Noah to tourist sites, ice skating in Rockafeller center, visiting ground zero and going to a Broadway show. I've decided to create a new Thanksgiving for us, and the guys are excited about it.
I think that's the biggest creation for me today...plans to reclaim that holiday.
Yesterday my steed and I took a break, as I was channeling the illness of a friend (long story) and so I felt under the weather and like I needed a break. In the end Noah and I spent amazing time together and that was...as always...magical.
As usual, I am woefully behind in writing, but actually ahead of my schedule "questwise". I ended up whacking my knuckles pretty good, (but in a productive cause), so reading and writing here seems to be all I'm able for today. And WOW, Merlyn, you have had quite the successful year! I am astounded at the myriad hurdles you've tackled, and yet you have the spirit of generosity to reach out and include anyone who cares to journey with you. So I'd just like to take this time, and this space, to say Thank You! :)
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