Sleeping Beauty

This month's StoryBook Club theme was Sleeping Beauty. We all prepped for it, by going enmasse to see "Maleficent" last month and drinking both before and afterwards. There were 17 of us and it ROCKED.

An earthy experience and a wonderful tale!

Maleficent was excellent! You know, I always inwardly wondered why she was such a bitch. Now I know. Everyone who has an axe to grind, usually has a reason...granted some of the reasons may be twisted reasons for some folks...but it wasn't that she wasn't invited to your damn party for the baby....no....it had roots MUCH deeper than even that.

Like....Betrayal. And yes....maybe even rape.

It's hinted at in Maleficent. It's also more than hinted at in some stories and movies that we adults did find when we researched this "children's story."

Wowsa.

Take this film for instance.

Good God. Talk about creep city. Harry and I watched this, and it was indeed disturbing.  But then again, I am not into the power angle of sex. It isn't what I like, and it makes me feel icky.
Stories where the heroine is vulnerable is tragically too real sometimes for women. In this story (and I let you research that one, if you are interested), there is a line that someone says to the heroine of the story:
"Your body is your temple."
To which the "Sleeping Beauty" mutters: "Mine isn't."

And if you believe that...then....well...it truly isn't. Women have been lured into complacency, vulnerable relationships or situations that brink on disaster through all of history.

When is it that we "wake up?"
Is it when Prince Charming actually kisses her and she awakens to her perfect world?
Or is it when she wakes up to the reality that she has made for herself?

Interesting dilemma and a decidedly unusual moral for "kids" but really, one that should be told with a bit more Umph than a perfect Disney ending.

And so, Maleficent steps up to the plate, giving her a true reason for her pain, mistrust and seclusion.

At the end, when she and the King are spiraling downward and he is dead upon the ground, Maleficent looks at him with a mixture of love, pity and scoff.

It's like she was saying: "I loved you, you stupid shit. What a waste of my time and you were nothing but bad. Why did I love you? Because I DID. Yet, you wasted it on your anger and power.
You stupid, stupid fuck."

But of course, Maleficent couldn't say that in a Disney movie.

But we know she did...INSIDE her head and her heart.
They weren't a match. He was truly evil.

She was not, but became so, by loving him. Once she dealt with her inner darkness and her true capacity to love, she found her wings again!

(now THERE'S the Happy Ending!)

Maleficent proved that she wasn't a victim. She was victimized. There IS a difference!

We chatted about so much this hot summer evening at Terri's house! About so many themes and subjects and topics! Women's rights, rape, women's roles throughout history.

And we ate amazingly well as we always do!

This is a French folk tale, so there was several kinds of nods to French cuisine this night! Amazing drinks with a kick, fresh salad, stuffed zucchini boats, olives, goat cheese with cranberries and crackers, fresh cherry tomatoes, awesome bread, cream puffs, cheesecake and sorbet!

We LOVE these gatherings of wit, humor, stories and food and friendships!

Next month's theme?

Snow White and the 7 Dwarves!
Let's see ....now where did I put those special apples?

Week 9 of 52~ "Alone Time"

Following along in the book "52 Small Changes", I've made some adjustments to my life every week since starting with my friend, Lorie, back in February.

Major changes include:
Walking everyday
Drinking lots more water (I even bought a BPA free 64 oz. jug I liked for my daily intake...I got tired of counting sobe bottles..)
Setting a regular bedtime and trying to get more rest for ME...
Keeping a food journal
Being more Positive
Taking a Multivitamin (which reminds me now....this one is always an effort)
Eating more vegetables (I got creative with this one and my cooking has been sparked again!)

This next week's Small Change?

Enjoy Time Alone

This one I have personally struggled with for most of my life. Those of you that really know me, know I haven't cared to be alone much. Oh, I like a little down time and time to myself as most folks do...but I don't like a lot of it.

I have some friends who are quite comfortable with being alone, and some who are lonely, and they are ok with it...but me? I always crave company. There have been times in my life that have been tragically effected, and I'm dealing with them still....So, I guess I've tried to surround myself with people, pets, events and social situations so I don't have to be lonely anymore.

I've been writing my memoir, and the interesting thing is that by facing the demons...they become easier to deal with, and my alone time has been more happy of late because of it.

Some alone time is good for the soul. Since my girls and roommate have moved out, my home has been an "Empty Nest" for me and Harry, a bit. Not liking it at first, I have grown into it.

I am really starting to enjoy my "Alone Time" and most especially my walks with my dog in the morning. (Ok, so with him being with me, I'm not technically alone then, but I am with my thoughts.)

In the bathroom of my home, "Squirrel Haven", there are a multitude of sayings, pictures, and comments taped all over the wall...

one of them is this quote by Marilyn Monroe:"I restore myself when I am alone, a career is born in public, talent in privacy."

And I really like that....So this week, I will savor my time....with me...

Week 8 of 52: "Eat Your Vegetables"

How are you doing on your "Small Changes" for your health?

I'm doing ok....
*Managing the walking, sleeping and water as best as I can in the proportions I need.
*Most days I am remembering my multivitamin...
*Have tried doing the "kick your shoes off" thing here, but it's mostly a bust with family and company coming in....oh well....C'est la vie!

This Week's Small Change?

Eat 4-6 servings of Veggies a day~

While I do eat lots of veggies, do I eat this many servings a day?
Some days.
I used to be a Vegetarian. Enjoyed it a lot, but my canine teeth got lonely.

So, this week, I will strive to make at least one dinner meal a week totally veggie, and will try to make most lunches salads.

I am SO in love with this salad I've been making lately!

Dark mixed greens
Avocado
Sprinkling of Feta or Blue Cheese
a few Banana Pepper Rings
and Lite Ceasar dressing.

OH MY. Delish!! I could eat it every day!!

And also for this next challenge.....
I promise I will also buy one incredibly weird vegetable at Wegman's, that I've never tried before and figure out how to cook it and eat it.

These look interesting....

Purple Okinawa Sweet Potato...
Romanesque Broccoli....
Will let you know.

If you don't hear from me next week....

ah, ask the Coroner what was the last thing I ate....
and ah...don't eat that. :)

Wizards Duel Challenge Temperature Check~

Hey Ho My Wizard friends and Enchantresses!

Last Fall I issued a call to arms on Hopes and Dreams and Goals....
Remember?
I'm just checking in on your Ride!

How are you faring?
Have you made progress on your Journey?

I remember your stated goals and thoughts....
Please check in & tell me how you are doing! I want to hear about YOUR quest and journey!

I have made quite a bit of progress on my plans...

If you remember I made a commitment to you all that I would work on the following back in October:
Space, Independence, Creation, Love, Music, Spirituality, Writing, Friendship, Lust, Adventure, Leader/Teacher, Empowerment, Generosity.

Changes I have made so far include Adding the following components to My Life:

1) I am writing to "a person a day" in my circle to tell them some positive thoughts of how I feel about them. If I were to never see them again, or if something were to happen to me, or them, I want them to know my thoughts of love and admiration for them. This one component has made a HUGE difference in my life. Hopefully theirs too. Why save shit up for a goddamn Eulogy? Tell them NOW. Live NOW is my thinking.

2) Working on writing My Story. You haven't seen it here. It is a work in progress. Only a select few have been my sounding board for some really weird and amazing stories. I am also currently taking a Memoir Course on Writing and reading some Memoir books of other published authors. This is very delicate, fun, scary and empowering to me. Scares the shit out of me, and some of my stories have scared the shit out of others....and some of them make us laugh too. It's a goodly thing.

3) I am committed to my health and overcoming the obstacles in my way that Menopause has so lovingly laid before me. I've added Yoga, walking to my weekly habits. Drinking 65-80 ounces of water a day, keeping my calories down, drinking less coffee and alcohol, eating very little junk and trying to get more solid sleep. I ache less. I have more energy. My BP is phenomenal. 98/65 this morning! Have kept off 19# this last year. Want to lose more, but commitment to healthful living is best.

4) I am taking a more Pro-Active role in my life of Music. I am trying to practice on a more regular basis and MAKING Harry set aside time out of his busy schedule to do so. Not always easy to tackle him for it. He's on the go a lot and when he's home he wants to veg.
I am learning some new music: "Lannigan's Ball", "Loch Tay Boat Song", "Long Black Veil" are all in the memory banks now. Am starting to learn "The Foggy Dew" and "Nonesuch" (with an additional verse that I wrote :) I also have written several Mischievous verses to "Scarborough Faire" which I will be adding to my Faire repertoire. I've been playing and performing for a long time....so there is an effort involved in keeping it fresh and exciting.
It's like being married for a long time. While it may get boring or complacent...it doesn't have to be that way.
You have to work at the magic....but the magic is still there, you just have to keep it interesting.
New songs, new venues, new costuming. New Story Songs to learn and live.

5) Visited St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC which I ADORED. Am setting up some more Church/Cathedral tours to local lovely architecture sites this year with friends. There will be outings and wine involved :)

6) Have joined 2 new writing ventures:
The Pagan Blog Project- writers once weekly tackle an alphabet letter (for 2 weeks) on subjects of interest to us Spiritually or inquisitively. It's been a lovely, fun learning experience. I have one due out tomorrow on my "Eclectic Spirituality".
Surf to my other blog for this: www.Merlynsmagick.blogspot.com

Magpie Tales: A poetry writing prompt via photograph opportunity. I post them on Mondays. It's been lots of fun to do this. While I can write reams (and do) this one I am trying to keep short, succinct and deliberate with my words. As Sheldon would say, "It's fascinating." The other writers are very interesting to read too.
Surf this blog www.Merlynmischief.blogspot.com under the labels of "Magpie Tales"
to find some of these works.

7) Continuing on with My StoryBook Club. This has been one of the JEWELS in my life along with Music. We have added new members, and we meet at different locations. There is always delicious themed food and drink, laughter, insightful discussion from highbrow to bawdy...and swearing is most certainly involved. No kids. Just smart, immature Adults who LOVE Children's Literature. Since October we have studied the following: Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Zombies, The Golem, Trolls, Damsels in Distress. This month's upcoming theme for March is: Banshees. :) I'm SO HAPPY I started this gathering.

8) Putting myself on a Priority List. To love others better I need to love myself. Take care of ME. That means lovingly, cutting myself out breaks, giving rewards and offer forgiveness to ME for my past, my mistakes and my self induced failings.

9) I have offered Forgiveness to Others. I accept that others are who they are. I FORGIVE them. It's ok to hurt. But once it scabs over....it's better to put on the balm and soothing salve of Forgiveness...for them...but mostly do it for YOU. Move on. You can't change the past, no matter how much you'd like to. So GO FORWARD.

10) Friendships are high priority. Have made an effort to make get togethers happen, large and small for myself, for fun and for others. It's good to have close friendships. It's good to have parties. Even if my house is too small and people are crammed in. You know what? They don't seem to mind. To have a companion for walks, or snuggling with movies on the couch, for chat, for adventures, for phone calls, IMs or whatever. It's good to have a couple of really close bosom friends to be able to write to, bitch with, cry with, get the weirds laughing with, to have a glass with. I treasure them all FAR beyond what they will ever realize.

There you are....I am sitting pretty comfortable in the saddle. It's a long, arduous journey..But there are my high points of my journey. In offering my life up to you, it is hoped in my heart of hearts that it helps you in some way on your path.

So...
How are you?

Talk to me.

Composite Me

 You know, I've always dreamed, made goals, plans, to do lists, counted calories,
did the "I shoulds" for the most part...

But maybe I've been doing things like that and it's been the wrong way.

Maybe I should hold a different image of myself.

What would I wish to be?

They say in society we can be whatever image we want to be.

My life has come to some conclusions.
College, marriages, kids, home, career. All somewhat accomplished and in my back pocket.

What now?

My wishes include: travel, a kick ass body, money, love, lust, fantasy and fame. Oh, and adoring fans too :)

SO

What would this Vixen look like?
Well, she'd look like ME, only UBER me, more svelte, more tan and with longer hair.
 (and TALLER....as a friend recently said, "There is no one shorter than you." :(

What would this ideal Vixen act like?
Well, for starters, she'd be more immune to assholes and bullshit, she'd suffer no fools, she'd be sensible, down to earth, emotionally in control of herself, content with what life has given her, yet still up for adventure and FUN.   

Sort of cross between:
Me, Loreena McKennitt, Madonna, Candace Night, Janis Joplin, Mary Magdalene....and Rita Rudner :)

 Aside from the part where I need: money, a full time counselor, a life coach, personal trainer, fashion consultant. chiropractor, personal massage therapist, dance instructor and agent.....

I think it is doable

I think I will attempt to put this image out there for me to follow as a beacon.

 OH Naughty, Naughty Zoot.....

Enchantress words: "If life gives you lemons....."..

Good ee'en my dear riders on the wind!

Today was "put away" day....and it started with a friend who stayed over from the night before/s party.
Coffee....and a doggy walk....chats....then off to work. Took Jesse for a consultation for her wisdom teeth.

Yah. They need to go.
So we made the earliest appointment for her....which was....
TOMORROW at 11:15am.
I encouraged her to get it done and out of the way.
"Better out than in" sort of thing.

What I was heartwarmed to find out is that, she wants her mom to take her :)
And so I shall take my "baby" girl of almost 26 to the dentist tomorrow.

She is brave.

And so are YOU.

YOU are also brave.

Being here, living in the moment, being YOURSELF.
We, Enchantresses, here, daring to BE.

I'm proud of you. You who are willing to say who you are....
you who are daring to stand up for yourself....
You who is mad as hell and ain't gonna take it anymore....

I salute you!

SO

"PUT AWAY" your fear...
put away your guilty doubt...
put away your foibles ....

Bring out your strength...
bring out your personality...
bring out your "SALT"-y self.

I'm here holding the lemon and tequila.

Implementation makes a hearty appetite!

Hey Ho~

Today is my "Implement" day.

Which started with a PLAN.
And Harry was ONBOARD. We were supposed to "clean up the clutter" (which of course meant his shite :)
I started the day with lots of coffee and getting set for our away gig on the morrow. A pirates gig, which has costuming, backdrop, and sound system.

Harry started this day with a wake up call and the man DID spring into action....
albeit a bit lethargically...
and he did start working more enthusiastically on the office on threat of me becoming celibate.

All I had to do to entice him was to show him "the girls".
(a morning ritual here at Squirrel Haven :)

That did it and we were off!

After I packed up the costuming, backdrop, props....
I offered to help him sort out some of the piles that make up our shared office.

My desk is way more organized than his....

Personally, call me crazy...
but  I think that his office chair should be utilized as a chair and not a shelving unit...
and for him to work at his desk (with his 2, count 'em, 2 computers)
and for him to get the fuck off my desk (which is uncluttered)
and ...
like that.

Yah, that's me being the "non-directive" type worker...

So, now....it is the evening.

Actually it is NIGHT.

Here is what has transpired this day.

I helped him.
We roused the evil monster that is Harry's office clutter.
It swarmed.
It got bigger before we started firing bullets into it's complicated hide.

I sat in a pile of HIS papers...
making more piles:
Invoices for him,
Invoices TO him,
manuals,
receipts,
gear,
media,
JUNK....(*my favorite pile :)

At one point...when the swearing sailor in me got to be too much...I actually started filking words to a song on the radio to show my displeasure...

I ran off...(read: I ran away!)
did my errands...spent a shit load of money on groceries for our upcoming party on this coming Sunday.
and for Thanksgiving...

And den?

I read.

I took a hot bubble bath.

I went to a seminar in Geneva for a memoirs writing program. Sonja Livingston who wrote "Ghostbread" gave some great tips this ee'en....and I spoke with her about my writing :)
She was very encouraging!

I came home and Harry was knee deep in setting up our wireless setup for the morrow's gig...and he's still packing the car.

BUT

It should be awesome.
We are leaving early. To be pirates. Far, far away.

I am now watching "Julie & Julia" about a lass who is undaunted and blogs daily on a dream.

How art imitates life, eh?

BUT
I did a good job today.
I helped.
I worked.
I implemented.
I listened to a woman who, like me, documented her life story.

She IS.

I AM.

As are YOU.

So...
fucking DO it anyway!
regardless if others don't like it...
think you are crazy...
even you think you are crazy....
ENJOY the PROCESS!

IMPLEMENT.

And as Julia Child would say:

"Bon Appetit!"

Self care means different things to different people~

Got a call from my grown up girl, Jesse, yesterday, saying in a very sad voice....

"Mommy, I'm SICK."

Jesse is a no-nonsense kid. She isn't a complainer. She works full time, goes to college full time, and is keeping an apartment with herself and her nice boyfriend. She's TRYING.

She has been sick off and on lately, working at a day care....no insurance...It seems her wisdom teeth have become unbearable. She can't open her mouth. Swelling has gone down her neck into her shoulder. She's in PAIN. Poor kid.

Thankfully, at least I knew what to do next. "I'll call my new dentist and see if they can get you in. They are awesome and really nice." At least that seemed to help her psyche. Sometimes when you are in so much pain, you can't think what to do, who to call, where to turn. At least she turned to mommy. That's always good. :)

My doctor could amazingly get her in on an emergency appointment 2 hours later. They did a full pan of x-rays and an abbreviated exam. They gave her a recommendation, a referral to an oral surgeon and a prescription for a Z-pak for the infection.

She needs to have all 4 of her wisdom teeth out asap. I don't know how she will manage it. But the doctor says, (and i agree) that if she could swing the money for all 4 out at once, and only get knocked out once, that would save her some money, time and pain.  She is almost 26 now.

I had this procedure done when I was 18. Had all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out in one sitting. Two of them were impacted. The doctor had to give me "extra sodium pentathol" for the procedure. I don't remember walking out of the office, the elevator, or getting to the car with my mom on one side and the nurse on the other walking me there.
What I DO remember is this: A knight in shining armor with gleaming armor and pennants flying.

Yah. True. My mom was driving me home, and a next door neighbor was riding his horse and mom stopped the car to talk to him for a moment. I didn't see the neighbor on a horse. I saw a KNIGHT on a horse with SHINING armor that hurt my eyes, and pennants flying. Even in a drugged state of post traumatic healing...my Arthurian nature called to me.
Drugs are an amazing thing. Some people pay good money for an experience like that. I'm sure my mom did on her insurance bill. I was glad to get the surgery done.
I am so hoping that Jesse can figure out how to swing it. I wish I could do more for her...moral support, transportation and nursing is about all I can give her.

Yesterday was my Self Care day....and while I did some things for me, I actually helped my daughter more. I told her she needs more rest. To eat better. To be more creative. I am hoping she will try to care for herself. It's hard to be a mommy sometimes from a distance.
I put myself on "hold" for so many years...
caring for others...
making things "nice" for everyone.
Now, I encourage myself to do for me, and for you to do for YOU.

I went out with Harry last night to play an open mic for a lark. 
My self care included 2 Gin and Tonics and singing my heart out in a dark bar.
I reminded myself about my love and Mentor Janis Joplin by looking at her pics and story yesterday.
I have some pics that are very similiar.

I am very similiar to her in a lot of ways.
I need to get in touch with my Janis side again.

She was wild, free and unchecked.

Yes, she was a bit whacked.
Yes, she was SO hard on herself.
Yes she could belt out a song.
Yes, few people understood her.
Yes, she walked the edge.
Yes, I wish she could've found the love for herself  that she so easily gave to everyone else.
Yes, she loved too much, and sometimes the wrong people for her.
Yes, I wish she hadn't died.
She was fucking COOL.
She IS still cool to me.

Know what?
She was an ENCHANTRESS.

And people didn't "get" her.

It was good for me to remember her when I was singing.

And it got me thinking...

I have loved this "Wizard's Blog".
But wizards have been engrained in us as a MALE image.
(Too bad for that, eh??)

So I will give you another image.

ENCHANTRESS.

For my riders on this quest with me....
WE are wizards of our own worlds....making our way...

but let's give our feminine natures a boost today.

Let's adopt the word, "ENCHANTRESS"

instead of the word,  "Wizard"...(which is unfortunately...so male oriented, don't you think?)

instead of the overused word, "Goddess" (so presuming of perfection...and we need to embrace our flaws. Socrates said, "An unexamined life is not worth living"  It's GOOD to see our flaws...so we can improve ourselves)

So, my DEAR Enchantresses...and Fellow Wizards,
Here below are some ideas I found for giving YOURSELF some pleasure and pampering....
Surely you should do something for YOU today too:
To make some MAGIC for YOU.

YOU DESERVE IT.

Janis did.
She should've used more of these....and less escapism...
maybe we'd still have her today.
I wonder what Janis would be like today....if she hadn't OD'ed....

She should've done more of the following....

Watch clouds
Meditate
Practice feeling contented
Focus on your breathing
Learn a new skill
Ride a bike
Go on a picnic
watch a favorite show
visit a park or woods
clean your silver
get your hair done
mani/pedi
hot bath with oil finish
put a positive word on your water bottle
discard something you don't want
look at the stars
enjoy a candlelit evening
kiss someone
go to the library
enjoy a cup of hot coffee
sauna/hot tub
light some incense
have an adventure day (do something out of your comfort zone/try something NEW)
Read
snuggle
take a hike
bubble bath
buy yourself some flowers
facial
listen to some favorite music
go on a retreat
have sex
people watch
garden
do something creative
daydream
have a movie marathon (Harry Potter/Pirates/Star Wars...)
Swing on swings
get some energy work done
massage
nap
game night with friends
have company over
feed someone
write a love letter to yourself
start a gratitude journal
do a brave thing daily
have a "jammie day"
treat yourself to something
say YES to what you LOVE
dance
make a bucket list
do something off your list
eat whole foods
drink more water
read the comics
call someone you've been meaning to call
schedule a "no schedule" day
write
go to an art gallery or museum


There are more....I'm sure you could ADD to this list.
Do something for YOU today.

You ENCHANTRESS you :)

Squirrels to Nuts....

Hey Ho...

After a wild week last week (the 11-11-11 energies WERE dumping negativity up to that day, for me and for many others I talked to!) and then the quiet that followed it, I am feeling much better.

Still on the path. Enjoying the view.

Saturday was my "Play Day" and I did just that by playing with Shawna and a couple of board games.

Sunday was my "Plan Day" but I ended up doing a bit more playing with friends at our "Creativity Day" at the space I set aside at the local library. And do you know what happened? More magic! :)
The 7 people who came and brought projects to work on, wanted and needed to be there. I did some mending, then started an appliqued wall hanging from a sketch. The others did various projects: Rug hooking, crocheting, quilting, beading, drawing, making fire starters for gifts for the fire place, computer art...

As I looked around at the assortment of people there, working happily away, chatting, I realized that we all had a commonality. We were all psychically sensitive. Several people were those who did "past life readings", some did tarot, some read people, or some had stories about strange happenings...but we were all there, and some were new to each other. Very kewl.

After we got home, the phone rang and my daughter Shawna, (who has Down's ) said, "That's my dad calling". I said, "really? then go answer it" :)
And it was :)

She's always been great about being empathetic and caring...why wouldn't she be? She is the embodiment of innocence and sensitivity.

Today is my "Put away day" and I have to tell you, that this theme day makes me feel better than any other...including my "Self Care Day". I think it's because the weight of things (mail/filing/to do lists/clutter, etc) is so daunting sometimes that it really makes you feel good to "put things away".

 I also try to get some emotional issue "put away" too.
I called a friend and we talked about things left up in the air.
It's good to get things of all sorts..."put away".
It just feels so much better!

Harry and our friend Nick also "put away" the squirrel problem that has been dogging us for years.
We were even having to turn up the movie louder we were watching in order to cover the noise of their antics!!

The guys climbed ladders and cut down overhanging limbs (read: Squirrel Highway)
and then they searched until they accidentally found out where the wee bastards were getting in!
Under the porch (where it's too narrow to crawl w/o tearing apart the porch)
they found the riddled holes in the house under the siding.

The squirrels have been SO loud, chewing, eating, fucking, running, riding dirt bikes,

fighting, rolling the black walnuts in their bowling tournaments, having orgies, parties...
punk band practice...

it's been HORRID.

 Well, the guys took off the lattice, surrounded the porch underbelly with wire screening, and then replaced the lattice.

Now.....

It is QUIET.  

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Of course, there are some squirrels now seeking a winter home...

And that's VERY OK with ME :)

OH!

and I also "put away" a double cheeseburger, some pie and some chocolate. :)

How about you? How are you doing on your Wizard's ride this week?