Got a call from my grown up girl, Jesse, yesterday, saying in a very sad voice....
"Mommy, I'm SICK."
Jesse is a no-nonsense kid. She isn't a complainer. She works full time, goes to college full time, and is keeping an apartment with herself and her nice boyfriend. She's TRYING.
She has been sick off and on lately, working at a day care....no insurance...It seems her wisdom teeth have become unbearable. She can't open her mouth. Swelling has gone down her neck into her shoulder. She's in PAIN. Poor kid.
Thankfully, at least I knew what to do next. "I'll call my new dentist and see if they can get you in. They are awesome and really nice." At least that seemed to help her psyche. Sometimes when you are in so much pain, you can't think what to do, who to call, where to turn. At least she turned to mommy. That's always good. :)
My doctor could amazingly get her in on an emergency appointment 2 hours later. They did a full pan of x-rays and an abbreviated exam. They gave her a recommendation, a referral to an oral surgeon and a prescription for a Z-pak for the infection.
She needs to have all 4 of her wisdom teeth out asap. I don't know how she will manage it. But the doctor says, (and i agree) that if she could swing the money for all 4 out at once, and only get knocked out once, that would save her some money, time and pain. She is almost 26 now.
I had this procedure done when I was 18. Had all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out in one sitting. Two of them were impacted. The doctor had to give me "extra sodium pentathol" for the procedure. I don't remember walking out of the office, the elevator, or getting to the car with my mom on one side and the nurse on the other walking me there.
What I DO remember is this: A knight in shining armor with gleaming armor and pennants flying.
Yah. True. My mom was driving me home, and a next door neighbor was riding his horse and mom stopped the car to talk to him for a moment. I didn't see the neighbor on a horse. I saw a KNIGHT on a horse with SHINING armor that hurt my eyes, and pennants flying. Even in a drugged state of post traumatic healing...my Arthurian nature called to me.
Drugs are an amazing thing. Some people pay good money for an experience like that. I'm sure my mom did on her insurance bill. I was glad to get the surgery done.
I am so hoping that Jesse can figure out how to swing it. I wish I could do more for her...moral support, transportation and nursing is about all I can give her.
Yesterday was my Self Care day....and while I did some things for me, I actually helped my daughter more. I told her she needs more rest. To eat better. To be more creative. I am hoping she will try to care for herself. It's hard to be a mommy sometimes from a distance.
I put myself on "hold" for so many years...
caring for others...
making things "nice" for everyone.
Now, I encourage myself to do for me, and for you to do for YOU.
I went out with Harry last night to play an open mic for a lark.
My self care included 2 Gin and Tonics and singing my heart out in a dark bar.
I reminded myself about my love and Mentor Janis Joplin by looking at her pics and story yesterday.
I have some pics that are very similiar.
I am very similiar to her in a lot of ways.
I need to get in touch with my Janis side again.
She was wild, free and unchecked.
Yes, she was SO hard on herself.
Yes she could belt out a song.
Yes, few people understood her.
Yes, she walked the edge.
Yes, I wish she could've found the love for herself that she so easily gave to everyone else.
Yes, she loved too much, and sometimes the wrong people for her.
Yes, I wish she hadn't died.
She was fucking COOL.
She IS still cool to me.
She was an ENCHANTRESS.
And people didn't "get" her.
It was good for me to remember her when I was singing.
And it got me thinking...
I have loved this "Wizard's Blog".
But wizards have been engrained in us as a MALE image.
(Too bad for that, eh??)
So I will give you another image.
For my riders on this quest with me....
WE are wizards of our own worlds....making our way...
but let's give our feminine natures a boost today.
Let's adopt the word, "ENCHANTRESS"
instead of the word, "Wizard"...(which is unfortunately...so male oriented, don't you think?)
instead of the overused word, "Goddess" (so presuming of perfection...and we need to embrace our flaws. Socrates said, "An unexamined life is not worth living" It's GOOD to see our flaws...so we can improve ourselves)
So, my DEAR Enchantresses...and Fellow Wizards,
Here below are some ideas I found for giving YOURSELF some pleasure and pampering....
Surely you should do something for YOU today too:
To make some MAGIC for YOU.
YOU DESERVE IT.
She should've used more of these....and less escapism...
maybe we'd still have her today.
I wonder what Janis would be like today....if she hadn't OD'ed....
She should've done more of the following....
Practice feeling contented
Focus on your breathing
Learn a new skill
Ride a bike
Go on a picnic
watch a favorite show
visit a park or woods
clean your silver
get your hair done
hot bath with oil finish
put a positive word on your water bottle
discard something you don't want
look at the stars
enjoy a candlelit evening
go to the library
enjoy a cup of hot coffee
light some incense
have an adventure day (do something out of your comfort zone/try something NEW)
take a hike
buy yourself some flowers
listen to some favorite music
go on a retreat
do something creative
have a movie marathon (Harry Potter/Pirates/Star Wars...)
Swing on swings
get some energy work done
game night with friends
have company over
write a love letter to yourself
start a gratitude journal
do a brave thing daily
have a "jammie day"
treat yourself to something
say YES to what you LOVE
make a bucket list
do something off your list
eat whole foods
drink more water
read the comics
call someone you've been meaning to call
schedule a "no schedule" day
go to an art gallery or museum
There are more....I'm sure you could ADD to this list.
Do something for YOU today.
You ENCHANTRESS you :)