Self care means different things to different people~

Got a call from my grown up girl, Jesse, yesterday, saying in a very sad voice....

"Mommy, I'm SICK."

Jesse is a no-nonsense kid. She isn't a complainer. She works full time, goes to college full time, and is keeping an apartment with herself and her nice boyfriend. She's TRYING.

She has been sick off and on lately, working at a day insurance...It seems her wisdom teeth have become unbearable. She can't open her mouth. Swelling has gone down her neck into her shoulder. She's in PAIN. Poor kid.

Thankfully, at least I knew what to do next. "I'll call my new dentist and see if they can get you in. They are awesome and really nice." At least that seemed to help her psyche. Sometimes when you are in so much pain, you can't think what to do, who to call, where to turn. At least she turned to mommy. That's always good. :)

My doctor could amazingly get her in on an emergency appointment 2 hours later. They did a full pan of x-rays and an abbreviated exam. They gave her a recommendation, a referral to an oral surgeon and a prescription for a Z-pak for the infection.

She needs to have all 4 of her wisdom teeth out asap. I don't know how she will manage it. But the doctor says, (and i agree) that if she could swing the money for all 4 out at once, and only get knocked out once, that would save her some money, time and pain.  She is almost 26 now.

I had this procedure done when I was 18. Had all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out in one sitting. Two of them were impacted. The doctor had to give me "extra sodium pentathol" for the procedure. I don't remember walking out of the office, the elevator, or getting to the car with my mom on one side and the nurse on the other walking me there.
What I DO remember is this: A knight in shining armor with gleaming armor and pennants flying.

Yah. True. My mom was driving me home, and a next door neighbor was riding his horse and mom stopped the car to talk to him for a moment. I didn't see the neighbor on a horse. I saw a KNIGHT on a horse with SHINING armor that hurt my eyes, and pennants flying. Even in a drugged state of post traumatic Arthurian nature called to me.
Drugs are an amazing thing. Some people pay good money for an experience like that. I'm sure my mom did on her insurance bill. I was glad to get the surgery done.
I am so hoping that Jesse can figure out how to swing it. I wish I could do more for her...moral support, transportation and nursing is about all I can give her.

Yesterday was my Self Care day....and while I did some things for me, I actually helped my daughter more. I told her she needs more rest. To eat better. To be more creative. I am hoping she will try to care for herself. It's hard to be a mommy sometimes from a distance.
I put myself on "hold" for so many years...
caring for others...
making things "nice" for everyone.
Now, I encourage myself to do for me, and for you to do for YOU.

I went out with Harry last night to play an open mic for a lark. 
My self care included 2 Gin and Tonics and singing my heart out in a dark bar.
I reminded myself about my love and Mentor Janis Joplin by looking at her pics and story yesterday.
I have some pics that are very similiar.

I am very similiar to her in a lot of ways.
I need to get in touch with my Janis side again.
She was wild, free and unchecked.
Yes, she was a bit whacked.
Yes, she was SO hard on herself.
Yes she could belt out a song.
Yes, few people understood her.
Yes, she walked the edge.
Yes, I wish she could've found the love for herself  that she so easily gave to everyone else.
Yes, she loved too much, and sometimes the wrong people for her.
Yes, I wish she hadn't died.
She was fucking COOL.
She IS still cool to me.

Know what?

And people didn't "get" her.

It was good for me to remember her when I was singing.

And it got me thinking...

I have loved this "Wizard's Blog".
But wizards have been engrained in us as a MALE image.
(Too bad for that, eh??)

So I will give you another image.


For my riders on this quest with me....
WE are wizards of our own worlds....making our way...

but let's give our feminine natures a boost today.

Let's adopt the word, "ENCHANTRESS"

instead of the word,  "Wizard"...(which is male oriented, don't you think?)

instead of the overused word, "Goddess" (so presuming of perfection...and we need to embrace our flaws. Socrates said, "An unexamined life is not worth living"  It's GOOD to see our we can improve ourselves)

So, my DEAR Enchantresses...and Fellow Wizards,
Here below are some ideas I found for giving YOURSELF some pleasure and pampering....
Surely you should do something for YOU today too:
To make some MAGIC for YOU.


Janis did.
She should've used more of these....and less escapism...
maybe we'd still have her today.
I wonder what Janis would be like today....if she hadn't OD'ed....

She should've done more of the following....

Watch clouds
Practice feeling contented
Focus on your breathing
Learn a new skill
Ride a bike
Go on a picnic
watch a favorite show
visit a park or woods
clean your silver
get your hair done
hot bath with oil finish
put a positive word on your water bottle
discard something you don't want
look at the stars
enjoy a candlelit evening
kiss someone
go to the library
enjoy a cup of hot coffee
sauna/hot tub
light some incense
have an adventure day (do something out of your comfort zone/try something NEW)
take a hike
bubble bath
buy yourself some flowers
listen to some favorite music
go on a retreat
have sex
people watch
do something creative
have a movie marathon (Harry Potter/Pirates/Star Wars...)
Swing on swings
get some energy work done
game night with friends
have company over
feed someone
write a love letter to yourself
start a gratitude journal
do a brave thing daily
have a "jammie day"
treat yourself to something
say YES to what you LOVE
make a bucket list
do something off your list
eat whole foods
drink more water
read the comics
call someone you've been meaning to call
schedule a "no schedule" day
go to an art gallery or museum

There are more....I'm sure you could ADD to this list.
Do something for YOU today.



Dorothy L. Abrams said...

I see the resemblance! I am so glad you navigate better than she was able to. I like Enchantress. My Merlin, after all, is the Wizard in the family. My magic today is getting back to my manuscripts. Of course I also wrote up a couple new article ideas in case I wasn't dividing my attention sufficiently lol.

For me the problem with diversions is that they continue. I took several days off writing my book because there were so many different interesting things happening and people to talk to. Now I am focused on writing as priority 1 for 5 days.

However, I did go to the pool this morning and will go to the chiropractor tomorrow. And meals are done and need only warming up for the next several days. Bye!!

LynnieBee said...

Today Steph and I went Wedding Dress shopping on our lunch break :) It was my first trip, so I'm trying not to get really stuck on one dress until I shop around a little more, but I tried on a stunning oyster colored dress, and I truly did feel like an Enchantress in it :) I came home tonight and make pancakes with Greek Yogurt tonight for dinner :) A good self care day indeed :)

Abby said...

Great thoughts from a great person. : )
Ahem, I meant fellow Enchantress! Love it!

Diana Baretsky said...

Enchantress, I love it! One who enchants, my, this is a word one can do much with. But first may I give my heartfelt best wishes to your lovely daughter in her personal quest for dental peace. Our daughter faced the same situation, 4 to go at once, and 10 days before she was to take up her next MAINE. Her father and I felt helpless, poor, and frustrated. But we read and re-read our (always inadequate) health care program paperwork, and found that even though dear daughter was over the age limit, she was still in college. So we were "covered". Whopping huge co-pay, but unexpected happy conclusion. And even though I had to save a few months, I recently got a tooth pulled myself, that had buggered me senseless for quite a while. Got my money's worth, though. The surgeon was a dead ringer for David Boreanaz, and when I almost passed out after the extraction, he gave me oxygen and stayed with me until I felt better. (not mouth to mouth, but hey,ya takes what ya gets) ;)
Speaking of dead ringers, you do indeed make me think of Janis, Merlyn. Free spirit, passionate personality, kickass voice and all!
I read with interest your list of things one can and should do for ones self. I've been saving up for a splurge day, mani/pedi in a bucket, weepy movie with non-cheap tissues, chocolate, maybe asking dear Hubs to come home with a pizza so I needn't cook. But after reading your list, I find that I do many of those things every day. I'm fortunate to live in a somewhat rural area, and in the middle of septic tank duties, I found myself cloud-watching, and seeing how they reflected on the canal. And while taking the chainsaw to some overgrown pussywillow trees, I found myself inhaling the aroma of the freshly-cut branches. It was like perfume. So, I think that due to this Journey, I am finding ways to turn lemons into lemonade, and to stop and smell the roses. Okay, enough with the trite sayings. ;)

Lynnie said...

I have to admit that I do many of those things on that list, often. Some of them regularly. In addition to other things.
I was talking with a friend the other day and I admitted that I'm selfish. Not in a way that causes me to neglect anyone but in that I take time for me and there are things I won't budge or compromise on. It allows me to actually be better to other people because I feel good about myself and my life.