Sociopaths and Women's Subordination~ A Cautionary Children's Tale

His reputation always preceded him.
But women are nurturers and believe in the power of the "Love will Cure-All" fairytale.
They disregard the red flags in favor of their own vanity.
They want to be "The One that's Different from "All the Others."
He needs a woman that "would tell him the truth" and "fix him."
A woman of Child-like Faith and Devotion.
One that would, in turn, rely on him for everything....
Her Provider, the Strong Warrior, the Master of the House.
He gave her "the key" to his secret life,

He would then withdraw....
Which only makes her more needy of him....
But when he is absent....
She longs for the part of him that he's hidden....
She uses the key....
And when she opened the door.....
She finds out the awful truth.
Then he has to Kill Her. 

Why?
For her Knowing his Truth.
For her "insubordination to his Will."
He then hides her remains....
And sets about finding the next woman to repeat the pattern with.....

This is the tale of a Sociopath and patterned behavior.

Sounds like it came out of the pages of Psychology Today, doesn't it?
It could even be someone you know now or loved in the past.

But would you believe that this is a very old tale?
YUP.
"Bluebeard" is the Children's tale that we decided to explore last night in our StoryBook Club (a Children's Literature group for Adults Only).

Yes, we "opened that door".....

But still ....
it's better to know what you are dealing with....
than NOT in some cases.

Take Bluebeard's wife, for example. Or his MANY wives, that he's killed, one by one.

The interesting moral in this olden tale was more about a Woman's Insubordination than the fact that her husband was a Serial Love Killer.

I mean, really....the woman opens the "forbidden door" with the key that He GAVE her.....
(i.e., he baited her, set her up) and when she found out the TRUTH about him...

Guess what?
It's HER FAULT.
Weird huh? But that's the way it is when you deal with Sociopaths.
They make YOU feel responsible.

You think I'm kidding? Current research from the book "The Sociopath Next Door" reveals that 4 people out of every 100 are documented with personality disorders...as Sociopaths.

So DUDE! YOU KNOW A SOCIOPATH!
You probably do. Or more than one.
I know I do.
Almost married one once...

So glad I didn't! That would've been the end of me.
But he is nothing now,  only "somebody that I used to know".
He has no power over me.

Like lyrics from this great song, "Somebody I used to Know" by Gotye

 "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness,
Like resignation to the end, Always the end..."

"Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over-
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done"

(seems to sound familiar doesn't it? The song is addictive...just like the patterned behavior)

Click here to listen to "Somebody that I Used to Know"

Anyways,  the kewl thing about this story of "Bluebeard" is that it IS a children's story!

I think nowadays, it isn't told much (too scary, and too hard on little girls to be depicted this way) 
 but really, it IS a story that children SHOULD be told....
We should tell our kids the hard facts about COLD people.

That there ARE people out there, who SAY they love you, mimic emotions, make you believe they have feelings, but that they actually cannot feel. They can't. They cannot feel LOVE.
They only feel anger...if anything...or the feeling of loss as to how it pertains to them as materialistic possessions....but not love. They use charm (like Bluebeard) and pity to lure you in...
and when they are sure of your emotions, then they start withholding their emotional feedback, to keep you hooked....and wanting THEM.

The key is only symbolic in this story. Yet it is so tragically true for many out there.

To be honest, I kinda felt a bit sorry for Bluebeard, a little....(of course that's part of the Pity Play...)
Yet, I don't think he realized WHAT he was missing....but he kept searching for something he will never find.

When his wife (or a Sociopath's lover, girlfriend, boss...etc, etc) becomes flawed in someway....
he has to kill her.  (or the Sociopath has to kill the relationship, project, marriage, job or whatever)  

How'ere, the ending is appropriate. Bluebeard is killed by others for his wrongs. His wife (or the Sociopath's survivor) is not only freed from his power, but claims all of his wealth, power and station. She is free to live and love again, with the knowledge of a world that is callous, yet she goes on to love again for real!

Bluebeard (or the Sociopath) never is satiated for long. (much like the Pirate Barbossa in Pirates of the Caribbean.)
Always craving....never fulfilled.
Wants the Knowledge...
but is DENIED it's actual taste and Power.

Fairy tales like these, are allusions to the power of the Inner self, handed down from generation to generation. Bluebeard's sin is not in the killing, but in the repeating of not learning about love from person to person. He dies because he cannot fathom the knowledge of love. But if he'd only have appreciated and opened up, instead of hiding from his own inner knowledge and shared it freely, he would not be the antagonist in his own story.

The wives that died in the story are symbolic of them giving away their Power to another. Of the submission that ultimately killed them. The wife that survived, was the one who called for help, and who accepted it when it came.

Love is not love until we love and accept our own self. Therein lies the Power of this story.

But at least our cravings were not denied!  We were filled to the brim with good food, good friends and good drink! We ate very GRAND as usual at our Meeting!
Alissa invited us to partake and we all brought awesome themed food and drink!

"Bloody Red Ziti", and Blue drinks and Bloody red drinks, breads and cheeses, fresh apples (the forbidden fruit :) and so much more!

We watched "Barbe Blue"

Rob even "channeled" Bluebeard for us!!
Here pussy, pussy, pussy.... :)

So THAT'S what we learned in our StoryBook Club last night! But while these women had to learn their lesson the hard way....all is not lost!

Next month in honor of the Grey November days coming to us soon....
and the Magick that lies within it...

We shall be expecting the arrival of someone with a lot of GIRL POWER.

Mary Poppins!

(Who is "practically perfect in every way!")

See you then!

The Ponderance of Pooh~

Winnie the Pooh was our StoryBook Club theme this month and we all met up at the House of Pooh corner, (Val's big Victorian house on a corner).

The thing about Winnie the Pooh is that he's just so squeezable. He's sweet and laid back and naive and wise all at the same time.

Zen Pooh.

There actually was a book that many of us have read in the past, about this simple reflective character:
 "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff.


The personalities of the Winnie the Pooh story are all boiled down versions of our own character.
Pooh~ Naive, thoughtful and laid back
Piglet~ Hopeful, nervous trusting loving soul

Rabbit~ OCD, a bit anal, analytical and ordered

Kanga~ the perfect compassionate and able mother figure

Roo~ the wide eyed child up for learning what life is in all its forms

Owl~ a bit "too far north" and out there, know-it-all-chaotic, somewhat oblivious to surroundings

Eeyore~ the pessimistic "oh poor me" Law of Attraction casualty

Tigger~ the over the top- ADHD -love life- gotta be me- Ego... at it's best and worst. Confident and Fragile.

Christopher Robin~ the compromiser and adventurer and solid foundation

Which one are you?
We are all of the above put together. A.A. Milne was onto something there with Philosophy that led you along the wordy path of language in its forms on the page. Literally. You can walk, hop, skip and jump from page to page! How fun is that to get to be able to live and play IN and ON a book?

In fact, most of us in the group, found ourselves relaxing so much just with hearing the sound of Sebastian Cabot as the narrator. ("Mr. French" as I mused to the group). We were lulled into an evening's repose much like a baby in a rocking chair.

Of course, it could've also been the grand dinner that we all brought and mowed down at our fun monthly themed gathering.

Let's see....
There was "Pigs in a Blanket", and hot sliced ham right out of the oven (for Piglet), Fresh farm milk and yogurt and homemade Granola (for Kanga & Roo) and there was fresh veggies and dip and hummus, and CarrotOrangeAppleGinger Juice, and Carrot Cake (for Rabbit), a fermented Tea (for Owl) and Peanut Butter Fudge, Honey Meade and Baklava (for Pooh).
There was nothing for Eeyore... (in his sad voice) , "Which, when you think about it," was perfect for Eeyore

No pics this time....sorry. We were too busy eating and visiting and talking of great and magickal things like: Heffalumps and Woozels....and how to avoid Jagulars )
All very important information while wandering in our 100 acre woods of Life.

Swinging from Zen calm goodness we change it up for next month's October spooky theme.
We will also get some good information on Sociopaths, when we read the Classic children's literature piece:

The Folk Tale of "Bluebeard."

And for God's sake honey.....don't open that door.

Consider yourself warned :)

StoryBook Club goes Through the Looking Glass

"The time has come to speak of many things, 
of shoes and ships and sealing wax....
Of cabbages and Kings, 
and why the sea is boiling hot 
and whether pigs have wings...."

But first let me light this joint.


Oh, excuse me. I was just getting ready to delve into Lewis Carrol's "Through the Looking Glass" and wanted a little extra help explaining the themes. I figure a little smoky inspiration would be appropriate as this story was truly whacked.

(sound of a flick of a lighter....wafting smoke billows and wisps lazily through the room)

There, that's better.....

I know that the author was writing for the benefit of entertaining children and trying to keep their attention, but frankly, it's like he just sat down and started scribbling blindly, sometimes making us laugh outloud and sometimes meandering like a lost old lady in Kmart. Some of the story was brilliant and some of it, well,
I just wanted to shake the author and say, "oh fer fuck's sake, get ON with it!"

Contrariwise, it was fun and creative.
But on the other hand it was presumptive, totally illogical and blathering.
In other words, we liked it.

A long time ago, I learned the Jabberwocky to recite and yet, the description to some of the words was finally revealed through the story tonight!

Humpty Dumpty (just before he turned into a mess on the floor) clued Alice and all of us, the following:

Brillig: 4 o'clock in the afternoon, when you begin broiling dinner.

Slithy: lithe & slimey

Gyre: to go round & round like a gyroscope

Gimble: to make holes like a gimlet

Wabe: the grass plot round a sundial

Mimsy: flimsy & miserable

Borogrove: a thin shabby looking bird with its feathers sticking out all round- something like a live mop. 

And so on and so forth and like that....on and on....

It was a silly book. Entertaining and odd and one of the most frightening children's books that a child could probably read. The imagery, especially Tweedledum and Tweedledee, the Red Queen...and the Duchess....well, they were really quite disturbing to
all of us as wee ones.

 
How'ere, at our StoryBook Club meeting, we adventured into the land of lost forks in the road, lions and unicorns and weeping Mock Turtles with bold strides!

A chess match is the story of Alice through the Looking Glass and a rousing game of chess was played this evening for fun as well!

The food was great as usual!  Kate hosted the evening this night and the table looked great!

Zucchini Bread, Humpty Dumpty's Demise Quiche, Watermelon, Salad, Veggies, Pesto Lasagna, Peach Cobbler,  Checkerboard Finger Sandwiches, 

 Buffalo Wing Dip,Gentleman's Cherry Wine, Un-birthday Cake....

I'm sure I'm forgetting something....

maybe I should just walk backwards until I remember it...

Oh yes. Since this is an Adult club of Children Literature Lovers, someone booted up the Internet to regale us with a different version of the story. An Adult movie "Alice in Wonderland." 
As Stephanie said (and posted on her Facebook status) 
"Musical Porn is a bad idea."
WORD. 
 I think some of the 1970s film producers were also smoking the hooka with the caterpillar on that one....

But surely I digress :)

We've decided that next month, in honor of fall time and the coming winds that bring down the leaves, we are sure we will have a blustery day. 

 Thus said, we shall visit the 100 acre wood and visit our dear bear, Winnie the Pooh at the house at Pooh Corner!

  until then.....

as Tigger says......

"TTFN!"

Ta ta for now!

StoryBook Club goes down the rabbit hole.....

"We're all Mad Here"

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.
Alice: And how do you know that you're mad?
The Cat: To begin with, a dog's not mad. You grant that?
Alice: I suppose so,
The Cat: Well, then, you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

Indeed, it IS so very confusing here.

People do and say the most odd things.

But if you do what you don't like, and like what you don't do...then you should be fine.
Or something like that.

So.....WHO ARE YOU?

and Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?

Our StoryBook Club dealt with great and grand questions such as these last night at our Monthly Meeting of Mad Minds as we all went down the rabbit hole following Alice on the suggestion of Lewis Carol (Charles Dodgson) who was, while brilliant....a bit mad himself, methinks.

And unproprietaly and disappropriately attracted to young girls....like Alice. In a day and age of Victorian modesty and manners and buttoned up sexuality, he managed to find his way to having alone time with his companions of choice ~ young girls betwixt the ages of 8-16. As a matter of fact, he proposed marriage to an 11 year old and there were many mothers who disavowed his company with their children.
More than likely it was his penchant for photographing them nude.

A strange bird he was, indeed.
A dodo. (who was represented as himself, by himself in his own writings...)

Curiouser and Curiouser....

And WHY did we do this?
Because "The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things / Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings / And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings...."

and because there are no actual children allowed at these our StoryBook Club's Children's Literature group, we can discuss at will any themes we like.
From narcotic enhanced ponderings...

To sexual innuendo laced throughout the story.....

 While it may have been a wild and fun, non-moralist story written for children, there was enough bizarre correlations to deeper and darker themes lying within this story to keep us all guessing....

But while we guessed and speculated on child pornography, pedophilia, Victorian mores, and the roles of women and children in that age of the priviledged gentry....we ate.

And documented this table and event for posterity's sake :)

We ate very well, as we always do, of so many delightful themed offerings!
Our group met this night at fellow clubmember Stephanie's house for a sumptious teatime!

With Cakes and Treacle Toffee...

 Lady finger sandwiches, of cucumber and cream cheeses...

Teas ....of course!!

and Oysters and Bread and Butter....

 Carrot Cake and delicacies to delight the tastebuds!

All washed down with laughter, friendship and  some refreshing Vodka and Grapefruit served in lovely silver teacups!
Mmmmmmmmm!

Then we finished out our evening with a documentary on the life of Lewis Carol. It was a bit stuffy.
But we weren't, with the comments and additives given from the cuff.

It's such a deep story though...and we didn't get to enjoy the actual stories as much as the digging through the symbolism, so we are continuing next month with "Through the Looking Glass- And what Alice found there"

So, it looks like we have more fun to find next month in Alice's backward, upside down, mad, mad world!

HUZZAH!

Don't be Late!!