I am home.
The ride yesterday was arduous long. Having been on the far eastern coast of North Carolina and off the beaten path, considering the major winter storm approaching, we deemed that the best way home for us was to go a new and different route. We followed up the coast of N.C. to the upper edge and went over the Chesapeake Bay bridge/tunnel as I said before, then came home via Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania.
(I’d like to make an aside here now. I do love to write. Sometimes I’ve caught slack for it… (i.e. “writing too much”…”on the computer all the time” by my friends and loved ones, and sometimes, that is the true case) but sometimes I feel that I don’t get to write “enough” in my opinion. I felt somewhat rushed while on the trip, to squeeze in some info, snatching bits of time, after faire, before bed, wherever I was, before it was forgotten or clouded with new adventure stories. I left out a lot.)
Here are some things I wanted to tell you about either the trip or what I learned along the journey:
The Chesapeake Bay Bridge/Tunnel was indeed a marvel of engineering. I appreciate what it is and does. I was also glad we came across it at 9 o’clock at night, while it was DARK and while there was no rush hour traffic, because at one point we had to wait. We had to wait, sitting on a bridge, with all that weight, on top of 100 feet of dark water. Then we had to drive (twice!) down into tunnels, to go down underneath all that dark water.
Being a pirate, I appreciate the gravity of this situation. Basically we were in what consecrated a concrete sleeve down in the depths of Davy Jones’ Locker. I didn’t like it much. I felt trapped like a mouse in a maze, or a victim in the Minotaur’s Labyrinth. I was glad indeed, to drive off of it.
I had never been on the Delaware Peninsula before either. For those of you who have never been there, it is a long peninsula, about the length of the state of Virginia (where it probably broke off and floated away from it in some cataclysmic fault a million years ago).
The peninsula, how’ere, is sitting braced on one side by the wild Atlantic Ocean and the other side by the calm Chesapeake Bay and the busy-ness of Washington, D.C. and Baltimore, MD. Strikingly, and oddly enough, regarding all that…it is a quiet place. A rural place sparsely filled with houses and businesses. It does have roads, although, they are “secondary” highways, at best. Which means, you have to drive at 45-55mph for miles… and miles… of “stop-start” traffic for about 300 miles? On bypasses, back on and off thoroughfares…It took freaking FOREVER.
We were trying (logically) to avoid both Washington and Baltimore traffic, while also, by necessity, dodging a winter storm coming up the coast in the path we had to travel. It was a good plan. I just heard that 100,000 are now without power and several international airports and many roads are closed, as I write this from the safety of my armchair, finally at home. We did succeed. We are safe and sound at home. I was never so happy to get out of the car when we got home!
I do so love to travel. Harry is a good traveling companion, too. We enjoy the adventures together. It is quite beautiful and fills us with wonder to travel our country. It really runs the gamut of scenic, natural, beautiful vistas and urban cityscapes to abject desolute poverty contrasted against the fur trim of wealth in mega McMansions.
It also rained most of the drive yesterday, but we were always grateful, when checking the outside temperature, that it remained above freezing for the ride home. Traveling in rain may be annoying, but traveling on icy roads is much worse.
Some of our individual united States, we are definitely more fond of than others:
Pennsylvania is a terror for their roads. They always seem to be torn up! While it’s nice once in awhile to see an Amish family horse and cart on the trek, it is more likely that you will see a sign that says, “Road work ahead-be prepared to stop”. Or that you will drive miles on end, just inches from a tractor trailer running in a gauntlet of concrete lanes with no give or shoulder.
Virginia is breathtakingly beautiful with its mountains and valleys, but I have to tell you that Harry and I get the willies driving there at night. There are specters and ill will feelings still buried there in the landscape that was so scarred by civil war. While I’d love to go to Williamsburg, I would never bring myself to go to Gettysburg. I pick up psychic vibes so easily, that I would hear too many chilling stories and see too much sorrow and suffering there. I do not want any psychic attachments following me home, because I am sympathetic. I do pray that these dead soldiers and their families finally find rest one peaceful day.
North Carolina has very kind people, but it is evident that a lot of the state is so very economically depressed and poor. I feel bad for them as I look at their homes and see how they live. Some places are really just scraping an existance out hand to mouth. But the Gods are Good, Mimsaab”, because even so, the pine trees are statuesque in their forest green crown of beauty in riotous return for the land’s austere living. So beautiful are the trees here!
We also had a creepy moment here. Harry and I took a turn, which we thought was correct. We drove for the 8 miles it stated on the map. It was raining and overcast, but ok. We were definitely in Bumfeck County. Out in the country, on a back road, when all of a sudden our door locks started going crazy! They locked and unlocked themselves off and on for about 10 seconds! We decided it was probably the humidity of the rain messing with the electro-magnetics. Then we decided that we WERE on the wrong path, turned around to go back and find our way from our missed turn. (We have no GPS, much to Talon’s dismay). On our return trip through this mysterious countryside, at the very same spot, again…noted by the mileage and the landmarks…our door locks went CRAZY, again…locking and unlocking! Now we were really creeped out. Then we figured this is also the land of the military. There are military training camps all over the place out here. Maybe they were beaming something? Testing something? Maybe it was some old Dixie soldier trying to catch a ride out of hell?
Another thing while I’m talking about North Carolina. We thoroughly enjoyed the visit at the Maritime Museum. But I have to say, there was some sadness. We talked to the tour guide there for quite some time. In our conversations, he told us that a few years back a giant whale had ended up beaching itself on the beach there in Beaufort. It had swam ashore and died. This enormous leviathan had wound up dead on the sand instead of swimming purposely deep in the ocean. In doing the autopsy of the oceanic mammal, they found it had eaten recently. It was not ill at all, but very healthy. Healthy, except of course, for the fact that its hearing had been totally destroyed. Sonar testing was blamed for the destruction and damage. Whales “hear” their world. Their hearing tells them where they are, where they are going and even where to find food. It is a sad thing that the sonar testing that is done by our military drills, is what kills so many whales, manatees, dolphins and other sensitive wildlife, unnecessarily.
South Carolina, however, is gorgeous. The landscape opens up to the mix of pine trees and the new addition of palm trees. Beaches and palm fronds abound. The state keeps itself pretty clean and neat too. A great bonus is that the waitress’s usually all call you “darlin’”. J
Florida is alternately beautiful in its wildlife and lush tropical landscapes and horrendous in its urban sprawl. Oh, some of the cityscapes can be beautiful, but the miles and miles of malls which have been built on destroyed wetlands is sad. The people also drive crazy here. They are called “Flor-idiots”! I so do love seeing herons, pink flamingoes, geckos and cranes though. The sunsets are stunning every single night.
We also love seeing our friends and family along the way on these trips. The faire down in Fort Myers is always such a joy to play! This faire raises money for the Kiwanis, which in turn, raises money for kids. A big bonus this year was that we met new friends, and got to lead the final song for the last night of faire here this year.
I ended up reading an entire book to Harry as we drove along. The book this year, was “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elisabeth Gilbert. A book of travel and thought provoking ideas. We laughed and mused and thought great thoughts all along the way.
It occurred to me, that while reading this book, a change has been happening in me and in some of my close relationships. I feel differently lately. It may be my ever evolving change from mother into crone…but I am calming. I no longer want to go hunt, pounce and capture, but instead I feel like waiting for things to come to me, is the better avenue for success. In my life, it seems to have taken a lot of work, effort, men, children, friends, music, sorrow and joy, to get here, but I feel a new Merlyn emerging.
I fight like crazy the changes sometimes, like the change from rain to sleet. It’s harsh. I don’t like the feeling. Like the Hulk’s mundane personality or Dr. Jekyll, I have a hard time making the different transition. In my life, I have been wild like this. I have scared others. I have scared myself.
But sometimes the changes I’ve been feeling are also like crossing the borders from one state to another. You wouldn’t even know the change has occurred, except for the sign saying so. All of a sudden, one day…I’m different. A new state.
This trip was named the “Fire & Ice: Circle of Life” tour. It was named with good reasons. There were actual fire and ice encounters at the faire and on the journey. It also had its share of life and death, with the unfortunate demise of a jousting horse (pet & co-worker of our friends in the jousting troupe) to the sad delivery of still born puppies to the resting place of a terminally ill feline of our dear friends. There was grief.
It also had a lot of life to it as well.
Harry took at least a 1001 photographs. He took pictures while driving (sometimes making me exceedingly nervous, especially while we were going 60 mph on high bridges or with oncoming traffic…) He took pictures of whatever struck his fancy. From the bizarre to the mundane, he documented the moment. It was a common occurrence that he would thrust his hand gripping the camera, in front of my face and take a picture out my window.
There was the activity and life of smart and funny 3-year old Aidan, who is active from the moment he rises till he retires each night. Pin balls have to sleep sometimes, and his mommy and daddy were ready for it too at that time of day. There were the animals of Busch Gardens, chimpanzees who taught us about ourselves, elephants smart as whips and pink flamingoes standing on one foot. There was also the addition to our recently bereaved friends of a new rescued dog to their family. They named her “Willow”. She reminds me that life IS change and it’s good to bend like the branches of the willow to go with the flow of the wind. It’s always better to bend than to break.
I am home now. I’m a bit of a different person, than when I left. Change happens and can be a good and beautiful thing.
There were things I decided on the trip, lots of conversations, a long trip of bonding together that we did, on the ride, in sharing a life changing book and in sharing adventure.
We will be working on a new CD and also working on a re-release of our old CD “Cakes & Ale” for hopeful release of both at Silver Kingdom faire in June.
Harry also says that work will continue on the clean up of the office and we will strive for harmony within our family and our life together.
I also feel the need to devote myself back to ME. While I do for others, most of my whole entire life…I realize the need to re-connect with MY needs, hopes, wishes and desires. While it’s good to care for others, I realized by reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s words, that I am also a lot like her. I tend to immerse myself in others and sometimes imbue them with qualities of a nature that they do not have, but that I think they could have at their highest level.
This I have learned:
People are who they are.
We are where we are by our own choices.
They are where they are, in life, in relationships; by their own choices…even before they were born they chose this.
I need to consider that everyone is doing their very best at this moment.
I have made a concerted effort to stop pushing things, people, and events.
I will see what happens and let the universe unfold, instead of me trying to peel it open to force it to bloom. I will let the Universe reveal itself to me and come to me, instead of my relentless chasing and tending.
I will try to find the Divinity of myself and try to see it in others.
“God is within me, as me”.
“God is within you, as you.”
The Circle goes round thru fire and ice and back again. It is a giant wheel of life and love.
And now, after all my striving, singing, adventure, delving into the hearts of others and my own, chasing dreams and prying open locked doors, or scaling fortress walls….
I realize instead, that I am relaxed…
safe….
and…
Home.
