Cleanse Me O Lord

It's been a busy year and summer....hell, the summer is over and altho' I participated in it every day, out in the sunshine, it's gone and I'm sad.

I have also gone thru several stressful events of late, of which I need to destress from. Surgeries, a cold, an abscess, antibiotics that followed, medications, pain, relationship work and the need to clean my inner house.

So, I shall do what my body is needing at a time like this. I will fast for a bit, cleanse my mind, organize my thoughts, stay creative, active and pamper myself.

I started a fast, that I have successfully done many times for 5, 9, 10 days several times over the last few years. It gives my body a break and it makes me focus on ME.

It consists of a drink concoction (water/lemon juice/maple syrup and cayenne pepper). I also will drink teas, and an occasional cup of bouillion (for sodium) during this time.

I continue my daily walks with my doggy, hot baths, and today I started my fast with some lovely pampering. I gave myself a manicure and a pedicure...just cuz.... for ME.

I also dressed up very nicely for ME.

I will not let things get me down.
I am a beautiful woman.
I am healthy, loyal, creative, social, inventive, loving, caring, sexual, spiritual, practical and a damn good cook.

I need to let go of a person in my life who has harmed me,
and who continues to harm me.
I am too nice and I have forgiven much.
But there is a point when you should no longer turn the other cheek.
(sorry Jesus...but I, unlike you, am not perfect.)

I need to also let go of some inner spiritual, mental and emotional debris.
I also need to let go of some events in my life that have stunted me,
and of which continues to harm me by not facing it.
Inner crap as it were.

I have been seriously thinking of writing something of a very serious matter.

Past memories are surfacing with this recent situation, Halloween, and all its' seasons festivities.

I feel I should write it and let it out.

It is a demon in a cluttered basement full of horror.
At least, to me.

I do not know if I am brave enough, but I did make an outline for thoughts/chapters.

We shall see.

At the very least, I am starting on this continual journey of life that I am on,
on a quest for furthering my zest for life, love and fairness.
I want to keep growing.
The one who continues to harm me, is stuck in a pattern and a loop,
and I do not wish to be like that.
A person should evolve instead of repeating the same mistakes.
A dog always goes back to his own vomit.

I will not be controlled by others.
I will not be deceived by others.
I will not be kept tamped down.
I will not take ill treatment, when I offer grand love in all it's forms.

Harry supports me.
(Altho', I'm not cooking for him for a few days, he says he will fend for himself. He's been down this fasting path with me before :)

He's heard my stories.
He encourages me to write it.

I don't know whether I will post here, keep a private journal, publish, or burn it.

Until then,

I shall purify my body and take care of me.

The toxins must go, in every form.

Yours most sincerely.....


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