Cross my heart and hope to die.....

Yesterday was Cataract Surgery #2.

I was to arrive at 10:15am (which is a damn sight better then the 1st one at the 6:30am). The folks at the "Specialty Surgery Center of CNY" are really wonderful to work with. They even have a team working in Honduras right now doing surgeries for the less fortunate.

I got called and was settled into my prep-recliner chair where they took my vital signs, started the many courses of drops to dilate and numb my eyes till the pupils were like big, black saucer plates. They gave me my IV. Good God but that STUNG...and continued to sting the whole time it was in. I don't like needles, as I've said before....but who really does?

The surgery went well and the team was cordial and kind. My doctor was very good, told the team that I was a Pirate and a Musician, I even remember being asked during surgery "What instrument do you play?" and responding "12 string and bodhran and lead vocals" but not really sure what it came out like in reality.
The doctor said it was "almost over" and then when all the colors of the surgery had subsided, they sat me upright with help and the doctor said, "now get those taxes done" (which told me he's reading my blogs too :).  They took me post op, gave me juice and toast and instructions to care for myself for the rest of the day.

Harry took me home and got me lunch then left me to run errands. Monty (the also invalid recovering doggy) and I went and laid down for a nap. I woke up to the pain and the tearing eyes. I got up and realized that my pain killer had worn off and now had a very scratchy eye and painful socket. I mean, really, they just rooted around in my eyeball, it's normal to have pain, right?

I cried. Put in more eye drops. Went through a box of tissues. Watched a movie. Took a hot bath and went to bed in tears last night at 8pm. Slept on and off.

Got up and my eye was not as scratchy (YAY) but it was still very sore and sported some nice red swollen lids. Took more eye drops. Went to the recheck.

Doctor said that the pressure was high in my eye. Gave me a "numbing drop" and then asked me to look down while he opened my eye. I felt a prick! "Ah! What was THAT?"

"Just a needle." he said.


He checked the pressure again. Still high.
Another "numbing drop".
I saw the needle coming this time. It didn't hurt as before but the THOUGHT of it made me queasy and made Harry squirm in the chair looking on.
Recheck the pressure. "Still high".
Another numbing drop.
"What are you doing?" I asked weakly.

He said, "I'm basically making some "vents" in the eye to relieve the pressure. This should give you some relief from the pain." Ok. That makes sense.
Another fresh needle.

"How are you doing?" he asked as I pressed my forehead to the light and opened wide to the oncoming FOURTH needle.
"Getting depressed." I said.
"It's perfectly normal to have this done, don't worry."

Rechecked pressure. Still high.
Another needle.

Recheck pressure. Still high.

One more time.....numbing drop....and one more long stab at it. This one took all my strength to sit still for. Just KNOWING there was a needle in my eye...I could understand WHY, and was theoretically OK with it...BUT...

Then the good news after 5 times of this procedure.... "Ah, the pressure is down."

All through this all I could think of was the child rhyme sing songing through my head,
"Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in your eye."

Yah... hope to die.

Then all was good, pretty much. We chatted for a bit about music, Dr. Safran showed us his office complete with keyboard and then he showed us his IPad. I now want one. Maybe for Christmas....

I've been good. VERY GOOD. Fucking A have I been good.

Eye still a bit blurry and fuzzy.
VERY light sensitive.
I am emotional.
Feel like I've been through the ringer.

Thank you to all of you who sent me emails or called yesterday and got me through my very bad day.

Today is a bit better, although, I'm not 100% yet....I'm working on it. I hope to be a bit better tomorrow.

I hope you can all come to the Celtic Ceilidh tomorrow night at the Jordan Library Community Room.
7-10pm. Lots of music, friends, and some refreshments available. After Monty the doggy's surgery this week, Fucking Taxes done and mailed, and the last of two surgeries behind me.... I will feel like celebrating!

I will need hugs from you.

Someone just wrote to me that he thought my blogs were only motivated by my need for people to "adore you for your blogs, worship you for your voice, come to all of your events and performances, write to you because it's a you" world that you live in." (a nice way to kick someone trying to DO and Be someone or something. It hurt my feelings on a very down day. I have to say.)

After I cried about it, I have to say that I totally disagree with that point of view .

I am a story teller.
I am a true Bard.
I write to inform, to bring fantasy and to get closer to myself, and to others with my stories.

You may all think what you want, but I am not motivated by ego on this, but to express.

Cross my heart.

I'm drinking WINE now.

Hell, it's MEDICINAL under the circumstances.


LynnieBee said...

*hugs and* We're gonna do our best to be there tomorrow

You are indeed a true Bard, I love this blog and I love you!

Anonymous said...

Ya know, I live in a ME world too...because I'm ME and I don't write your blogs or live your very interesting experiences but I enjoy reading about your observations about YOUR world and that you write them about YOU. : )
Huh. I will have to post this as A-non-mouse...who loves you and thinks that you are special! Keep writing!

Merlyn said...

thank you both for your kind words :) It means a lot

Anonymous said...

Who ever wrote those mean things to you I just want to bop them in the nose. I love the storyteller that you are. It is what makes you who you are. I am grateful for you, your gift of word and song. Just imagine how much more you will have to tell us now that you can see more clearly?
Hope that all will continue to improve at squirrel haven<3