Crones and Other Wise Creatures

I am a firm believer in signs.

All kinds of signs. Like getting a message from a song on the radio, an animal omen from the hawk that just flew in front of your car, or even getting a phone call from someone you were just thinking about.
ALL SIGNS are from the Universe.

While I haven't lost the red scourge totally and forever yet, I am indeed growing into a Crone.
And this is not a bad thing. This is a very GOOD thing. This is like the BEST thing.

Although, the word "Crone" sucks ass hard, I'll agree with you there.

Check out the accepted wording and imagery of the following:

You see, old wise men are:

and of course we revere "The THREE WISE MEN at Christmas, don't we?

But what about aging wise women?

What are we called in society?

How about:


Hmmmm....Is it just me, or are these words and images skewed?

I have received such wonderful feedback from my women friends about my recent posts!
WISE CRONES, (Older WISE Women)  who encourage me to "keep being yourself" and "Do what you need to do!"

Why is it that women are maligned so as they age?

Why? It's because men have had a big influence for many years on the words in dictionaries, the work place and in social settings.

Let us not forget that women keep the world together with families and their nurturing side. This can be unnerving for some. The Catholic Church focused its witch hunts mainly on women, who were Mid-wives, Healers and Spiritual advisors for the community.

From Wikipedia~
"In Joseph Campbell's classic work The Hero with a Thousand Faces, the first encounter of the hero on his journey is with a protective figure who provides him with amulets or magic devices against the dangers he will face. The crone is one of the most common of these protective figures."

I mean, who can argue with Joseph Campbell about HEROES? Even Steven Spielberg consulted him when working on his hero know....that little hero and sage story called.....

Today, I got a package from a girlfriend....
when I opened it, I found a magic gift!
An Magical Device (just like Joseph Campbell talked about) was inside!
It was "The Tarot of the Crone" with it's companion book, in a beautiful silk bag.

I asked for a blessing and a SIGN and shuffled and pulled my first card.

I had to laugh....and feel very blessed at how the cards are always right on for me. 

It was the Ace of Swords:
It Read:
"In my mind is the power to perceive, the one and the many worlds of creation.
A great blue eye shines with stars within, and reaches out to a piercing point.
The Ace of Swords, the root power of the Mind, is Thought. See now with fresh eyes.
Hear with new ears. Perception is a power not to inhibit or to take lightly. Strive now for lucidity. Foresee what may be and speak your truth. Settle for nothing less than original thought. What is your vision? It is time to share what you see, what you know. Let the world not be diminished by the lack of your voice."

Can you feel the synchronicity along with my eye surgery on my blue eyes?

Can you feel the love of your Crone friends?

They are there to help you, hug you, kick you in the ass.
They will drink wine with you or make you tea.

So, instead of the Fairytale or Hollywood version of Crone that you are visualizing,

Want to see some REAL LIFE pictures of Crones?

How about the amazing Liz Taylor?
She married EIGHT TIMES.
Her last laugh and bit of humor recently, was that she wanted her funeral to start 15 minutes before she arrived. That's so she could be "Late to her own funeral" :)

 Mother Theresa~
She was given the Nobel Peace prize and was BEATIFIED by the Catholic Church.
(She IS a saint....I think so. But the church is waiting for the cue :)

Grammy, Emmy and Academy Award winner. And a BABE at any age :)
She was told to have her first name to be only initals, because "teenage boys might not want to read a book by a woman." BTW....they say that she's richer than the QUEEN now. :)
 Speaking of the Queen...
She is the Head of State of 15 Commonwealths and has been been in power for 5 FIVE Decades :)
Lets not forget my favorite Queen, Elizabeth the 1st~
Never married.
She didn't need to :)

born in poverty to a teenage mother, she was raped at the age of 9, became pregnant when she was 14.
She rose above all the strikes against her to become one of the most influential, powerful, spiritual and most effective philanthropists in the world.
Not bad sista!

 Betty White~
7 Emmys and the OLDEST person to host Saturday Night Live.
You just can't get much cooler than that :)

Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony~
Hey Ladies....Can you say "The Right to VOTE"??

So do I
and so do YOU.

Don't be afraid to speak YOUR TRUTH.

In other words,


Me, Myself & I

Finding out that you are not Immortal is a devastating blow.
Finding out that you are aging is the same thing.

I saw the wrinkles coming and I ignored them. I saw the pounds getting put on, but I was still me.
But when the doctor told me last week at my eye surgery pre-op appointment that I had high blood pressure, well, that was like, the last straw on hiding my head in the sand.

I write to you on this blog, because you are my friends. I have heard from many of you that you really enjoy my writings and that they entertain and even help you on your journey. I'm happy to get that kind of feedback.
(you know, the GOOD kind of feedback, not the sound system kind of feedback).

I am working on a book. Maybe someday I will get it done. My friend told me yesterday that if I want to sell a book, I have to stop giving away my writing for free (like this). And she's right. But until that time that I'm ready to publish, I'll just keep practicing here, ok?

They say that High Blood Pressure is "The Silent Killer". Sounds like it should be in a graphic novel, doesn't it? Something to be combated in Gotham City by Batman or something?

Well, I'm trying to quell the damage of it, right here in my home, by stepping up to the plate and confronting it. I am not going to ignore my symptoms and I will test the sturdiness of my stalwart soul with this next assault on my mortality.

I tell you I want to age gracefully! I want to live to do so many things.
I've been stopped or at least, stalled, here and there throughout my life, and I'm not going to let that happen anymore.

It's 1 for all, and all for 1! Me, Myself and I!

Like Dr. Robert Schuller says, "If it's going to be, it's up to ME."

I like that.

So here's the scoop.

It's been over a WEEK since I got the news that my blood pressure was starting to sky rocket to 140/90.

I bought a pretty good blood pressure monitor, "Omron" and it cost about $80 or so.
I hid my salt shaker off the counter.
I am drinking more water.
I switched to tea, but if I want 1 cup of coffee a day, I will have it.
I am drinking 1, count em, 1, glass of wine in the evening. (they say that a glass of red wine is GOOD for you :)
Have eaten oatmeal for breakfast almost every morning.
Cut out meat.(and I LOVE red meat, was brought up on it on the farm)
Cut out dairy.(and I LOVE cheese, but am really lactose intolerant, but still love it anyway)
I'm trying to really walk the dog every day if possible. A walk of about 35 minutes.

Eating LOTS and LOTS of veggies.
Bought a recommended fiber supplement as suggested by doctor (oh god)

and guess what?

here are my readings which I started AFTER my surgery:

Original doctor reading: 140/90
3/25      123/80
3/26      118/86
3/27      128/84
3/28      116/82
3/29      111/90
and this mornings: 3/30    117/82

Which PROVES to me, that there is light at the end of the tunnel!

I am not gonna be afraid, and I'm not gonna hide my head in the sand about it.
If it is determined that I have to take meds for it, I will happily succumb to it,
but first, I am making some lifestyle changes.

I really analyzing what I want in my life.
I'm going to make some major changes.

And hey, I might just get a little thinner, prettier and healthier all round in this process!

I really don't know what's gonna happen, but who does, anyway? 

So, loveys, just staying true to you and doing my best and holding down the fort.
Others can do what they want to do, but I'm going to do what's best for ME.

love and hugs

In the "tween" time...

I decided that a nice relaxing soak in the hot tub would do me good.

So I stripped off clothing and piles of silver jewelry (the only time that it does come off, BTW) and put on a plush terry cloth robe and stepped out onto the back deck.

The snow has mostly melted, leaving behind it the piles of clutter that were so nicely buried beneath it.
The backyard resembles more of a junkyard than a place of nature and repose.

I have not done this.

I would never do this to Mother Earth.
I am not free to fix it.

Regardless, I opened the hot tub and watched the steam come off the hot water get whisked away like some ghostly apparition darting to be free. I slipped off my warm robe and felt the cold winter air wrap itself around me like a Popsicle wrapper.

I slid into the tub. The hot water was as warm as a lovers bed. I laid there awhile, surveying the barren trees in the cold sunset light. The grey sky fading into a pale orange at the horizon. The silhouette of the stark trees made me want to get out my watercolors and black ink to document it's stark beauty.

I listened to the trees creak in the cold wind, while I was bathed in an embryonic comfort. The wind whipped my face with it's chilly bursts, while the water steamed and relaxed my body and embraced me with it's enfolding waves of deep meditation.

I heard the call of a lone goose, calling, calling, calling it's mate. They mate for life you know. I felt sorry for this one. It had lost it's mate somehow. Either by storm, death or direction. Yet the goose kept calling.

This time of year is a time of yearning. A time of "in between" or the "tween time". Indeed, I was also out in the elements at dusk, another "tween" time. A time of magic and wonder. A time of thought and pondering.

It's not really winter.

It's not really spring.

It's the "tween" time.

Some of our goals have been met and come to fruition. The storms have mostly passed. The cold is on it's way out. Some of our dreams have been be replaced with....what?

What now?

It is before the spring. It is before the dawn.

A time of rest perhaps.

A time of meditative thought.

A time of impending change.

Maybe I'm reading Plato too much.

I await a dream to come to me and to burst open this cold ground and to flower......

and in the "tween" time.....

I will float.

The Art of Extreme Self Care

Of course you know I'm a book hound.
This health care stuff I'm going through all started with a book. You know, one of those "Self help" books that I'm so fond of reading. (that, and the fact that I was having trouble reading them with my vision)

I have bunches of books or that I have borrowed from the library. I'm always trying to fix something and make it better. House projects, relationships, songs, or my personal flaws.

Of course, I have to confess....I did buy "The No Excuse Workout Book"....which I NEVER READ.

Well, If I actually READ it.....I wouldn't have an excuse then, would I?

But surely I digress. :)

I belong to a book club called "One Spirit". It's a great club. I really only use and abuse it at Christmas time anymore, as I have so many books, am always reading two or three at a time and now have limited my addiction to giving books for the holidays. Hey....I have POINTS. I'm SCOTTISH. :)
Currently, I have an Outlander book at my bedside. It's been there a loooong time. Because I read approximately 2 & 1/2 pages and I'm done for the night. I mean, it's warm, it's toasty, I have my doggy by my side and he snores, and well, it's hypnotically impossible to stay reading for any length of time.

The other books I currently have going are down by my reading chair, they are: "A Wizard's Beastiary" by Oberon Zell-Ravenheart (for my Grey School Animal Communications course), "The Crazy Sexy- Eat your Veggies, Ignite your Spark, and Live like you Mean it!-Diet" by Kris Carr and "Plato-His Life & Teachings" by W. Norman Pittenger.

I also have Louise Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life" and "Animal Medicine" by Jamie Sams and David Carson always on my handy shelf for emergency reference needs. The Hay book is helpful for sickness and getting well and the Animal Medicine book is great for referring to daily life omen imput from the wild.
Like,"a deer just jumped in front of my car" or "I have about 20 turkeys in my backyard" and "what does it all mean, Basil?"
But what I wanted to chat about, besides my love of books today, is a book that had really started me thinking. It's called: "The Art of Extreme Self Care- Transform your life one month at a time" by Cheryl Richardson.

The thing is that it takes you by the hand and works out things in your life one month at a time. That IS the best way to "eat an elephant" bite at a time. And this book is very good for that.

I have a lot of readers of this blog. YOU, for instance. And folks have told me how much they enjoy the varied stories, from music, to fairies, to pirates to daily life dealings here at my home at Squirrel Haven.

I'm glad. I like being a storyteller, and if I didn't write, it would squirt out somewhere else.

Some folks have even gotten a new Pirate outfit,

started courses at Grey School of Wizardry,

started playing an instrument, or started research on a subject,
they say, its because of these writings.

And that makes me happy too.
So here's the deal.
You know I've had to go get a blood pressure monitor because the doctor said it was higher than normal. (140/90).
So I did. 
I took my first reading the day before yesterday, after I was somewhat calmed down after my surgery. My husband fixed it up for me, and got me started. I took it the reading and it was DOWN! (Of course, I am really trying to make some changes, such as: only 1 cup of coffee in the morning, 1 glass of wine in the evening and I HID my salt shaker!) Well, damned if the first reading wasn't 123/80!
Hey! That is a lot better!
I guess change is good!
I can DO this!

But here's where I went wrong.

I asked my husband to do it with me and we could monitor our readings for a month. You know, supportive and do this together. At first he balked. Then he did it. His initial reading was higher than mine at the doctors' office. His was 149/99. He laughed and shut it off. I didn't think much of it.  He did it, I was glad, we got an initial reading and then that was that.

And here's where I went wrong again. The following morning, I reminded him to do it again.

You know, like a "daily thing". NOPE. No way, no how, not ever again was the answer and direction (along with one south) I was given. That, and the statement that followed was:
"the only reason I have high blood pressure is not because of all the coffee I drink or fast food, or being overweight that you say...but because YOU are making me take my blood pressure!"
And he took off.

Well, my response was: "you can run away, honey, but you still have high blood pressure."

So this is where YOU come in.
I can't make anyone do anything.
That's apparent.
 Any woman who has a husband already knows this.
But I can try to help you.

Along with all the pretty things of getting your nails and hair done, (which I do suggest you do, for your own happy sake)...

Have you put off a doctor appointment?
Do you need to go to the dentist?
How about the gynocologist?
Eye doctor?
When was the last time you got a physical?

Yes, it costs a bit of money....I don't have insurance. I know this as well as anyone.

But YOU are IMPORTANT to me.


I want you to live a long time. So, if you get a chance, get your heart checked, get your blood pressure checked. And if you need to do something to fix a problem, do it. It doesn't really take that much effort to relieve those niggling doubts and fears and you will feel better for it.

I promise you.
Would you think about it, for me?

And in the meantime, I will keep on, keeping on doing my best to be a good example

(or a horrible reminder)

and I will continue to clean up after the ostrich.

Yin Yang Yo Yo

Well, the "snow blindness" and "white outs" of my uber dilated eye has gone, replacing it with SIGHT.
It's not perfect yet, but it's coming! My surgical left Pirate eye can now see as good as my other eye and is clearer (the other one still has a cataract).

This brings up an interesting dilemna.

My glasses are now too weird for me to wear. Why? Because the prescription in the left lens is Hulk-Amazing strong and way too over powering for the now "fixed eye".

So take them off right?

Yah, but neither eye is good enough to see great yet without enhancement of some sort.

take out the lens in the left side of the glasses.

Did that. WHOA. That is TRIPPY. Having one super powered right eye against the unaided left eye is like, um, nauseatingly weird. Like wearing 3-D glasses around all day w/o the color.

Went to the recheck today and all is going well, The doctor is pleased with the progress. I asked him if I could just wear a contact in my right eye for now until the next surgery fixes that eye. He said, "that's probably the best solution. You are/were SO nearsighted that this is going to be a
bit hard till the next surgery is done." But I tell you what....wearing the right contact is PERFECT for now. And it's just mind blowing for me to be able to see out of a previously worthless eye!
Ok, so it was thru the fixed eye, but HEY! That's amazing!!!

Who was the first person who volunteered for this kind of surgery, I ask you?
Who was the first brave doctor who figured it all out?

Ok, so I'm a bit unbalanced right now. Two steps step back.

I can SEE in a blind eye. I still need help with the other one.

But it doesn't stop there. The Gods are now playing with me and Harry.

Eyesight better in one eye/ surgery scheduled for 2nd surgery...and now I have Harry's head cold. (ugh)

Have worked on the new CD, but all work has stopped while we both are sick.

My head gasket fix on my Suburu is done (YAY!) but now the rear bearings are going.

Harry's van is available but now he needs a tie rod and 2 new tires.

And I love this part: I have the best eye doctor on the planet. He is informative, sensitive, happy go lucky, brilliant surgeon. He even let Harry look through the eye magnifying equipment at my now good eye and let him compare it to my right eye with the cataract. (BTW, he didn't say "euw" he said, "wow" )

Harry and the doctor got talking and chatting about work and of course, OPTICS, (what with Harry working as a stage hand and knowing Fresnel lamps and lights and all) and damned if they don't know some of the same people and stage hands! Dr. Safran is also an artist and a photographer. A true renaissance man!
When talking to him about music and such, and when talking of our Pirate shows, my pirate eye and stripey socks and all, Coincidently, the doctor also told us that his friend or family member is gonna get married and they are having a pirate wedding and they have asked him to play accordian for it.

My doctor is playing accordian at a Pirate Wedding.

I have a Pirate Eye Doctor :)
Is that the coolest thing or what??

SO I guess the Gods are having usual.

I am meant to STAY HOME (i.e. no ride) so that I can get better.

I have found a way to see, in a somewhat balanced manner, even though my sight is terribly unbalanced.

Even tho' Harry and I are miserable with head colds, it does feel nice to snuggle.

Even tho' gigs are sparse right now, what with the economy sucking hard, the Gods forsaw these vehicle problems and surgery and we don't have to worry about canceling gigs or working sick either.

And just when all looks dark.....
a cataract is removed and I realize that the light thru yonder window is WHITE!!
Not cream colored.

And just when I'm about to feel sorry for myself, because I don't feel good, am recovering and am miserable and broke from all this car repair, eye repair and all....

a friend sends me this parody she wrote for me:

Satire for Merlyn
by Christine Mason:
(In case it's unclear, the tune is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
                        Merlyn, the Red-Eyed Minstrel
                        Had a fuzzy pirate eye
                        And she could never focus
                        No matter how hard she'd try
                        All of the other minstrels
                        Used to drive for her at night
                        They wished that they could fix it
                        And give to Merlyn perfect sight
                        Then one foggy springtime morn
                        At the break of day
                        Harry grumped and fussed and whined
                        But he got her to the Doc on time
                        Now there is one eye happy
                        With just one other eye to go
                        And Merlyn, the Red-Eyed Minstrel
                        Will see all of us at the show!

How wonderful  is THAT???

As I said......
A Yin Yang Yo Yo Day......

Your very unbalanced but staying upright for now Minstrel