Sociopaths and Women's Subordination~ A Cautionary Children's Tale

His reputation always preceded him.
But women are nurturers and believe in the power of the "Love will Cure-All" fairytale.
They disregard the red flags in favor of their own vanity.
They want to be "The One that's Different from "All the Others."
He needs a woman that "would tell him the truth" and "fix him."
A woman of Child-like Faith and Devotion.
One that would, in turn, rely on him for everything....
Her Provider, the Strong Warrior, the Master of the House.
He gave her "the key" to his secret life,

He would then withdraw....
Which only makes her more needy of him....
But when he is absent....
She longs for the part of him that he's hidden....
She uses the key....
And when she opened the door.....
She finds out the awful truth.
Then he has to Kill Her. 

For her Knowing his Truth.
For her "insubordination to his Will."
He then hides her remains....
And sets about finding the next woman to repeat the pattern with.....

This is the tale of a Sociopath and patterned behavior.

Sounds like it came out of the pages of Psychology Today, doesn't it?
It could even be someone you know now or loved in the past.

But would you believe that this is a very old tale?
"Bluebeard" is the Children's tale that we decided to explore last night in our StoryBook Club (a Children's Literature group for Adults Only).

Yes, we "opened that door".....

But still ....
it's better to know what you are dealing with....
than NOT in some cases.

Take Bluebeard's wife, for example. Or his MANY wives, that he's killed, one by one.

The interesting moral in this olden tale was more about a Woman's Insubordination than the fact that her husband was a Serial Love Killer.

I mean, really....the woman opens the "forbidden door" with the key that He GAVE her.....
(i.e., he baited her, set her up) and when she found out the TRUTH about him...

Guess what?
Weird huh? But that's the way it is when you deal with Sociopaths.
They make YOU feel responsible.

You think I'm kidding? Current research from the book "The Sociopath Next Door" reveals that 4 people out of every 100 are documented with personality Sociopaths.

You probably do. Or more than one.
I know I do.
Almost married one once...
So glad I didn't! That would've been the end of me.
But he is nothing now,  only "somebody that I used to know".
He has no power over me.

Like lyrics from this great song, "Somebody I used to Know" by Gotye

 "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness,
Like resignation to the end, Always the end..."

"Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over-
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done"

(seems to sound familiar doesn't it? The song is addictive...just like the patterned behavior)

Click here to listen to "Somebody that I Used to Know"

Anyways,  the kewl thing about this story of "Bluebeard" is that it IS a children's story!

I think nowadays, it isn't told much (too scary, and too hard on little girls to be depicted this way) 
 but really, it IS a story that children SHOULD be told....
We should tell our kids the hard facts about COLD people.

That there ARE people out there, who SAY they love you, mimic emotions, make you believe they have feelings, but that they actually cannot feel. They can't. They cannot feel LOVE.
They only feel anger...if anything...or the feeling of loss as to how it pertains to them as materialistic possessions....but not love. They use charm (like Bluebeard) and pity to lure you in...
and when they are sure of your emotions, then they start withholding their emotional feedback, to keep you hooked....and wanting THEM.

The key is only symbolic in this story. Yet it is so tragically true for many out there.

To be honest, I kinda felt a bit sorry for Bluebeard, a little....(of course that's part of the Pity Play...)
Yet, I don't think he realized WHAT he was missing....but he kept searching for something he will never find.

When his wife (or a Sociopath's lover, girlfriend, boss...etc, etc) becomes flawed in someway....
he has to kill her.  (or the Sociopath has to kill the relationship, project, marriage, job or whatever)  

How'ere, the ending is appropriate. Bluebeard is killed by others for his wrongs. His wife (or the Sociopath's survivor) is not only freed from his power, but claims all of his wealth, power and station. She is free to live and love again, with the knowledge of a world that is callous, yet she goes on to love again for real!

Bluebeard (or the Sociopath) never is satiated for long. (much like the Pirate Barbossa in Pirates of the Caribbean.)
Always craving....never fulfilled.
Wants the Knowledge...
but is DENIED it's actual taste and Power.
Fairy tales like these, are allusions to the power of the Inner self, handed down from generation to generation. Bluebeard's sin is not in the killing, but in the repeating of not learning about love from person to person. He dies because he cannot fathom the knowledge of love. But if he'd only have appreciated and opened up, instead of hiding from his own inner knowledge and shared it freely, he would not be the antagonist in his own story.

The wives that died in the story are symbolic of them giving away their Power to another. Of the submission that ultimately killed them. The wife that survived, was the one who called for help, and who accepted it when it came.

Love is not love until we love and accept our own self. Therein lies the Power of this story.

But at least our cravings were not denied!  We were filled to the brim with good food, good friends and good drink! We ate very GRAND as usual at our Meeting!
Alissa invited us to partake and we all brought awesome themed food and drink!

"Bloody Red Ziti", and Blue drinks and Bloody red drinks, breads and cheeses, fresh apples (the forbidden fruit :) and so much more!

We watched "Barbe Blue"

Rob even "channeled" Bluebeard for us!!
Here pussy, pussy, pussy.... :)

So THAT'S what we learned in our StoryBook Club last night! But while these women had to learn their lesson the hard way....all is not lost!

Next month in honor of the Grey November days coming to us soon....
and the Magick that lies within it...

We shall be expecting the arrival of someone with a lot of GIRL POWER.

Mary Poppins!

(Who is "practically perfect in every way!")

See you then!