It's PIRATES Weekend Coming up at the Sterling Faire!
And you know what that means!
Wild Pirates and Sassy Buxom Pirate Wenches!
Well, I be "Merlyn, Captain O' The Lusty Avenger"
and I be hither t' tell ye to stand t' attention mates and take note!
There shall be NO lolly gaggin' aboot!
I am sick t' DEATH o' pansy arsed, lily fingered, mealy mouthed, forked tongued, work shirkin' stallin', double dealin, mewling, excuse makin' and self important devilish scallywags.
If'n ye be up t' sailin' wi' me ye HAS t' have a strong stomach, I say...
If'n ye HAS one.....
Ye has t' BE what ye say ye are, or ye shall be called out fer a much deserved lashin'.
Only stout hearted, loyal, fun, dependable men and women
(notice I dinna say "ladies" :)...........
Know ye...that Harry has INDEED proven his'self t' be a top notch Mate,
but we here aboard the Lusty Avenger..... need lots o' sailors aboard!!
We'll be singing MANY o' shanty and piratical ballad and lusty ditty this weekend thither!!
Ye also has t' CHASE ME in The Lusty Avenger cuz I'm tired o' chasin yer hairy white arses.
I may or may not give ye pause.
I may not e'en deign that ye be worth club haulin' fer.
In the past, if'n I've wanted a man, I've gone out and got him, by jaysus.
Nothin' wrong in that I tell thee.
Have had a few fun romps in the bargain....I regret it not.
Well.... mostly not....
But I'm not in the mood anymore fer courtin'.
I be in the mood fer floggins.
We'll be havin' FIVE shows a day all around the Shire!
Oh and I want to highly recommend to ALL women out there,
the book that's got me sooo fired up this day.
By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo called: